Homework - Forgotten

[Heather]

Forgotten

©Heather Knight 19.2.2013

No marble, inscription or whimsical lace,
for a child who with love was begotten;
and no one remembers the innocent face
of a child who is sleeping forgotten.

[Neville Briggs]

oow. There's a lot between the lines there Heather.

[David Campbell]

Nice, Heather. Only a few words, but a wealth of ideas.

David

[Maureen K Clifford]

WOW!!! and WOW again. That Miss Heather is a delight IMHO - what an epitaph for a headstone. To my ears that smacks of pure Victoriana. I love it

Cheers

Maureen

[Heather]

Thanks ye all. One of the first poems I posted on the old forum was about a baby's grave and I thought I was sooo clever. The poem, of course is pure crap - but, it has some good ideas and I've gone back and put a few of them here. I've intended to "one day" do a re-write but this homework topic and David's poem spurred me on to actually do something about it. A change of rhyme, a change of metre and "voila". Thanks poets.... I don't think a poem has to be long. Maureen I'm really pleased you think it is a bit Victorian.

Heather

[Glenny Palmer]

.there's a lot to be said for 'brevity'....unfortunately, I say most of it.... ...so 'brevity' & I are often strangers.
This is really lovely Heather, & I agree with Maureen...much of your work seems to echo Victoriana, which I find delightful. 'Short' can be extremely clever, & this is.

Hey Maureen...if there was a headstone...the child wouldn't be 'forgotten'....(it's that sort of proposed quandary (by me) that does heads in...mine, & I suspect Stephen's...... )

[Heather]

Thanks Glenny. Any sense of Victoriana probably comes from having spent years with my head buried deep in the newspapers of the 1880s - I love the use of 19th century language, the turns of phrase etc and occassionally I am known to use them. And you know, I'm not going to bother re-writing the original poem now because I've said all I want to say in four lines. I've been yearning to use the rhymes of forgotten and begotten for some time now! Mission accomplished!

[Robyn]

So much said in so few words. Lovely, Heather.
Robyn

[Heather]

Thanks Robyn.