January Homework - The Price to Pay

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Catherine Lee
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January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Catherine Lee » Thu Jan 19, 2023 8:05 pm

The Price to Pay

Ah, see how the mighty have fallen!
Now facing a bottomless void
of darkness and deeds come to haunt them
with memories of schemes they employed.
Return of their honour unlikely,
for no one will never forget
their hunger for power and riches,
nor grief and disgust they beget.

They took what they could from their people,
while driving in bulletproof cars,
absorbed in their drugs, sex and liquor,
while fronting at myriad bars.
They thought that the world was their oyster,
imagined themselves splendid stars,
with exploits related in poems
and songs played on golden guitars.

Yet not due to blind veneration—
for most are awake to the facts,
despising all prominent people
who hedge and make sinister pacts.
Comeuppance is not always certain,
but when they’re found out in their lies
the wrath of the populace drowns them
in loathing too deep to disguise.

Integrity should be the motto
of all who would rise to the heights.
Immoral tall poppies should suffer,
their evil revealed under lights.
No matter their title or standing,
their following, fortune or fame,
the mighty who sink to corruption
must fall hard and suffer the shame.


© Catherine Lee, Jan 2023

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Gary Harding
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Gary Harding » Fri Jan 20, 2023 10:04 am

Very Good Catherine!... (as usual)

As might be expected, this poem took several readings to take it all in because of the intensity and complexity of its fundamental expression!

IMO! It is perhaps more a poet's poem for ABPA members and not a poem for the people that one might see cruising in Woolies (or the Thailand equivalent?) which is quite OKAY. :)

Given that... like music perhaps, different poems appeal to different people too... and for different reasons, you may agree?

Firstly I should say I tend to evaluate a ballad poem like yours on its several technical aspects, say 85%. Not so much on Topic.

Correct Meter.... and Rhyme with preference for creativity, and with a demonstrated ability to employ the wider words provided in the English language. It is not unknown for me to reach for the dictionary in some of your poems.. which is a good thing (at least for me)... but lesser so for the public at large if you intend your poem for them, of course.

Your stars/guitars, lies/disguise.. and even fame/shame. Very nice. This is better than the trite but still perfectly acceptable pub/scrub or rhymes of the -ay ending which are many but can be a poet's trap if overused. Comeuppance is a strong word rarely used, so it is good to see it here...
Always given that rhyming words do not appear contrived.. .i.e. a bad fit, just to achieve rhyme.
My own opinion is that Rhyme should equally be natural and so smooth as to be unnoticeable... and your poem The Price To Pay achieves that admirably. :)

Well done.

As for your content; it is "different" and I am still only half-believing I understand what you are truly getting at. ha I have come across a few high-profile "broken idols" in trying to partner The Australian Cultural Centre Project and concluded (so far) that money drives the world.. and so the "suit" you have created in this poem fits well with one or two tall poppies I have engaged. ha.

Topic : It is only when I see poems about death (an obsession with some) or covid, or how terrible something is.. or same ol' how hard done by aboriginals have been or supposedly are (another obsessive topic) that I frown. The world has dreadful things.. however it has many Good Things too, but they don't sell papers as they say. :)

Happy, positive poems about nature's beauty, the finer attributes of ordinary people, kindness, real love, sentimentality, generosity or a well-researched Story like your Cobb and Co poem.... I just adore that stuff and it is a real buzz!

I could barely imagine what would happen if the super-intensity and writing skill you have shown in The Price To Pay was next-up more turned upon such subjects!!! WOW!
Another "Man From Snowy River" perhaps?? ha

As always (and as I have said before) you manage to climb into your writing yourself as opposed to being detached from it, making it "personal" and The Price To Pay is just another example of that.

I would be interested to know the time it took to write it?

I just thoroughly enjoy your poems and as long as I do so, I am happy to comment at some length... (sorry for that!)

Congratulations and well done, Catherine.

Terry
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Terry » Fri Jan 20, 2023 10:32 am

Hi Catherine

It interesting to see how each of us go about depicting and bringing to life each set of prompts.
You have as always come up with well thought out poem and have made good use of the prompts,
while delving into the seamy and ruthless side of life that so often surrounds us.

A well thought out and thought-provoking poem Catherine.

Terry

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri Jan 20, 2023 11:47 am

WOW - Loving the poem, how you made such great use of the prompts and the 'moral' in the tale as well. Well done you and if that didn't pick up a gong somewhere I would be surprised.
:lol:

Also how good is Gary's in depth critique - WOW WOW WOW - I never feel up to being able to get anywhere as good as that, my knowledge doesn't stretch that far, but that is purely brilliant. Thank you Gary
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Ron » Fri Jan 20, 2023 3:00 pm

Wow! again Catherine , that is a fantastic write! Great use of the prompts, and you really nailed it in every aspect in my opinion!
Really enjoyed the read, thank you. :D
Also have been meaning to tell you that I recently read your poem 'Return of a Stranger' in the abpa mag. Really enjoyed it, as you know that is a subject close to my heart, and it was certainly a worthy Silver Quill comp. winner! Congratulations! well done.
Cheers
Ron

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Catherine Lee
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Catherine Lee » Fri Jan 20, 2023 4:47 pm

Well, what can I say?! Thank you all so much for your always insightful, helpful and encouraging feedback. Gary, you have outdone yourself here and I’m delighted with your comments in regard to the technical aspects so there’s certainly no apology required, ha! I don’t know how long I pondered this – I started it off with a few notes about a week ago and then yesterday afternoon just worked on it stubbornly until it was finished…Terry, thank you for your very kind comments also; yes, I guess I was expressing my cynical side in thinking about the “seamy and ruthless side of life” and all its hypocrites therein. I didn’t really have anyone particular in mind – just basically all those who abuse their positions of power and trust in any way really, of which there have been sadly so many over the years - so there were a variety of different such people both past and present who crossed my mind as I wrote…Maureen and Ron, once again you too encourage me greatly with your enthusiastic feedback, which means a great deal to me – thank you! ….And Ron, thank you also for your warm comments on my Return of a Stranger, which I also really appreciate. I don’t know why the subject of war keeps coming up in my writing (it’s not as if I’d been there!) and yet it remains a topic that constantly resonates with me and never fails to stir The Muse.... Thank you all so much once again for your wonderfully positive words!

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Wed Jan 25, 2023 7:49 am

I think Catherine that we write from our hearts and often our souls, and whilst not personally experiencing (thank God) war pf other of life's dramas does not mean that we do not share the compassion, despair, fear and other emotions that these cataclysmic events draw forth.

Perhaps poets have a deeper sensitivity towards these occurrences and the effects they have on humanity and we certainly have the words, and the gift to put them together. As such my take is that we are 'honour bound' to use that gift for good - and if our words can get the message out there and they touch even one person, then we have done a good thing .... and of course as history shows us, a poets words so often linger, long after the poet and the event have passed.
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Gary Harding
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Gary Harding » Wed Jan 25, 2023 2:23 pm

Thanks Catherine... and Maureen for your great endorsement of my summary!!

Mareen... VERY well said... and absolutely Spot On... as you say poets write from their heart... and can empathise and powerfully emphasise too. They can condense what might normally take a page into a few high-impact lines where people are more likely to take the time to read it and be influenced.

YES I agree with you; poets DO generally have "a deeper sensitivity towards these occurrences and the effects they have on humanity". Catherine's poem precisely demonstrates that in The Price To Pay..

YES.. We are "honour bound to use that gift for Good " or otherwise in a way it is a betrayal of any gift, isn't it?.. such as it may be granted to us.

I would love to write some nasty poem about government .. politicians, bureaucrats etc..... and unburden my soul. However, as my writing always reflects Niceness, I refrain. Occasionally on FB I indulge in giving them a (pointless) serve, just to feel good. To keep in practice.

My comment about Tall Poppies only reflects my own bitterness and can safely be ignored. :)

Isn't Catherine a consistently terrific writer!

They took what they could from their people,
While driving in bulletproof cars,
Absorbed in their drugs, sex and liquor,
While fronting at myriad bars.


This is not something I have personally seen in Australia... but I suspect that Catherine, being so very widely traveled must have seen a few charming despots like that in the interesting countries that she has lived in!

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Catherine Lee
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Catherine Lee » Thu Jan 26, 2023 1:34 pm

Thank you so much once again, Maureen and Gary, for your further thoughts and kind words. You are indeed spot on with what you say about stirring our hearts and souls, Maureen, and I love what you say about touching just one person and words lingering. There are many things in the world that stir up strong feelings, and whilst I don’t normally touch on issues such as this much, your prompts seemed to immediately bring some of these feelings out…..Gary, thank you also once again for your very warm and generous comments. It is true that a few specific people crossed my mind while writing! Sadly, the corrupt, cruel and/or hypocritical of the world are a fact of life and always have been, in all their many guises!

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: January Homework - The Price to Pay

Post by Shelley Hansen » Tue Feb 21, 2023 9:38 am

Hi Catherine

I'm sorry - I missed your original post, otherwise I would have commented earlier. I'll blame "Covid-brain", but that's probably just an excuse!!

Your poem is excellent, as always. Although, like Gary, I have not personally experienced close contact with such "immoral tall poppies", it did instantly bring to mind some rather high profile persons who've featured prominently in the media in recent times - famous for their exploitation of those under their control.

I concur with what Gary has said about the technical aspects of your poem - as befits your customary skill.

Cheers
Shelley
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