ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Hopefully this fits into the sonnet rules. Seems to be a few options regarding form and rhyme when researching.


A Tale of Twos.
© Ron Boughton 20/10/21

Such peaceful scenes, from once, a war torn land;
Fresh fruit, sold on a beach of surf washed sand,
Some children, in the lapping waves at play
Enjoy, as all kids do, a holiday.
Off shore an island in a haze of blue
Creates a sea lane in between the Two,
That shipping, of all sorts, traverse for trade
What a difference such lasting peace has made.

And no more so, than North, in Halong Bay
Where tranquil scenery is on display,
As such, breathtaking beauty is untold,
When natures marvels to the eye unfold!
A Beach, a Bay, all part of natures worth,
On this, speck of dust that we call …our Earth!

This is lovely, Ron. The contrasting images of 'peaceful scenes' with 'once a war torn land' tells you exactly where you are from the start, and the subsequent images are so easy to picture just as you describe them. Nicely done!

Absolutely nailed it Ron - love it - well done.

The only very little nit pick I would have would be this line ...

What such a difference, lasting peace has made.

Might I suggest that perhaps this would make for smoother reading .... What a difference such lasting peace has made.

I really like it Ron
Gets you in doesn't it?

Well done Mate

Many thanks Catherine for your positive feedback, so glad you enjoyed it.

And thanks Maureen, much appreciated. Point taken on your suggestion, it did jar a bit when I read it again compared to your correction. Have now fixed it. Funny thing, I must have read it Twenty times and didn't pick up on it until your comment. Thanks for that.

And thanks Terry, yes mate it does get you in, (the sonnet challenge I mean) and the poem hopefully.

Ron

Well done Ron, you did it!

I'm still chewing the end of my pen!!!

Thanks Shelley, much appreciated, they are certainly a challenge.

Ron