Homework Xmas poem, For a Good Claus.
Posted: Sat Dec 18, 2021 7:43 pm
For a Good Claus.
(With apologies to Banjo, for the first, second and last lines)
© Ron Boughton Dec. ’21.
‘Twas Santa Claus from way up North that caught the drinking craze
He turned away the good old milk they’d served him many days!
For oft’ in many households he’d partake a can of ale
To wash down the Christmas cake -if perchance a little stale-
And many Dads would scratch their heads in bewildered surprise
To find the beer had disappeared when early they’d arise,
For it was meant a token gesture, though now it appears
The jolly old chap in the red suit …had different ideas!
For he’d acquired a taste, in particular, down in Oz!
Of the amber fluid brewed there, until, of course that was,
He’d dropped down Mulligan’s chimney, to see there in his view
A dozen long-necks in a crate, of Mulligan’s …home-brew!
He sampled one, very nice, so the rest went in his sack,
And up the chimney then he went with home-brew on his back,
He sank a few more, as along, his starry track he went
Not knowing that the alchohol was …near Thirty percent!
For Mulligan didn’t muck around when it came to brewing beers
And Santa Claus was getting, quite a glow between the ears!
As down the hatch each brew went, with a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho!
He even gave the finger, to some R.B.T.s below!
With ceaseless belch and burp, he refrained letting out a curse
As each remaining chimney grew harder to traverse!
Then all was done for that night, and completed with good cheer
He thought, I’ll call Easter Bunny and share with him a beer!
And might ask the Tooth Fairy too, then thinking with repeal!
What in the hell am I doing! I know that they aren’t real!
Thank goodness Rudolph knew the way, for after all that brew
Old Santa’s navigation, had gone terribly askew!
Next morn’, a monumental headache, was the aftermath
But was absolutely nothing! compared to Mrs. Claus’s wrath!
She scolded him, berated him and! was because she didn’t pause!
A glass of milk was good enough, henceforth for Santa Claus!
(With apologies to Banjo, for the first, second and last lines)
© Ron Boughton Dec. ’21.
‘Twas Santa Claus from way up North that caught the drinking craze
He turned away the good old milk they’d served him many days!
For oft’ in many households he’d partake a can of ale
To wash down the Christmas cake -if perchance a little stale-
And many Dads would scratch their heads in bewildered surprise
To find the beer had disappeared when early they’d arise,
For it was meant a token gesture, though now it appears
The jolly old chap in the red suit …had different ideas!
For he’d acquired a taste, in particular, down in Oz!
Of the amber fluid brewed there, until, of course that was,
He’d dropped down Mulligan’s chimney, to see there in his view
A dozen long-necks in a crate, of Mulligan’s …home-brew!
He sampled one, very nice, so the rest went in his sack,
And up the chimney then he went with home-brew on his back,
He sank a few more, as along, his starry track he went
Not knowing that the alchohol was …near Thirty percent!
For Mulligan didn’t muck around when it came to brewing beers
And Santa Claus was getting, quite a glow between the ears!
As down the hatch each brew went, with a hearty Ho, Ho, Ho!
He even gave the finger, to some R.B.T.s below!
With ceaseless belch and burp, he refrained letting out a curse
As each remaining chimney grew harder to traverse!
Then all was done for that night, and completed with good cheer
He thought, I’ll call Easter Bunny and share with him a beer!
And might ask the Tooth Fairy too, then thinking with repeal!
What in the hell am I doing! I know that they aren’t real!
Thank goodness Rudolph knew the way, for after all that brew
Old Santa’s navigation, had gone terribly askew!
Next morn’, a monumental headache, was the aftermath
But was absolutely nothing! compared to Mrs. Claus’s wrath!
She scolded him, berated him and! was because she didn’t pause!
A glass of milk was good enough, henceforth for Santa Claus!
Anything that helps Santa make it through these troubled times has my tick of approval - Good fun and I enjoyed the read Ron