Homework 22nd Feb; To My Young Self

[Catherine Lee]

To My Young Self

In the early hours of morning, just before the dawn of day
when your head lies on your pillow as the light and shadows play,
please allow me to approach and softly whisper in your ear,
and accept my good intentions as my purpose becomes clear.

There are many things I’d like to say and stories to be told
but with little time, I’ll single out a few I think are gold—
while your older self entreats you to attend to every word
as a caution for your path ahead, may heart and mind be stirred.

Don’t be gullible, expecting every person to be kind.
Don’t be led around by peers but know and value your own mind.
Don’t attempt to please them all—stand up, be counted, be direct
when it comes to things of substance, and you’ll garner more respect.

In your year of birth, The Platters hit of ‘Smoke Gets in Your Eyes’
is a sentiment I recommend you constantly reprise.
For idealistic daydreams, although dear can lead astray—
know the differences between them, gently sift the chaff away.

Take some time to ponder carefully when tempting songs are sung,
such as leaving school too early, choosing marriage far too young.
Make the most of every moment you are in your parents’ care,
and don’t ever take for granted all the precious times you share.

You will make mistakes like everyone—we all get into strife—
but accept and learn these lessons, they are just a fact of life.
Seize the moments, take the challenges, and never be afraid
to be true to your own values - when it matters, don’t be swayed.

I will leave you now my child, the dawn is breaking in the east,
and the fact I cannot linger is the nature of the beast.
There are several roads you’ll take to which I’ll wish you wouldn’t tend,
yet I know they’ll lead to happiness and wisdom in the end.

You are blessed with bonds of family that cannot be undone,
and their unreserved support will shine upon you like the sun
with devotion, generosity, and faith in God above—
do not ever underestimate the power of their love.

© Catherine Lee, 2022

[mummsie]

Beautifully written Catherine! That opening verse sets the scene beautifully-some great lines here! Love it. Love the sentiments expressed. Well done.

Sue

[Ron]

Ah yes, well done Catherine! If our lives were able to flow as smoothly as your poem does, we wouldn't have much to complain about.
I agree with Sue, beautifully written and so many great lines! 'Don't be gullible, expecting every person to be kind' how true that is in life's journey and that is just one of many that you have captured in this fine piece!
An absolute pleasure to read Catherine.
Cheers
Ron

[Catherine Lee]

Thank you so much, Sue and Ron, for this lovely, warm feedback. I’m so glad you enjoyed the read, and many thanks for singling out certain lines too, which is always a help. Also Ron, for what you put about it flowing smoothly – what a lovely thing to say!

[Gary Harding]

Catherine, your poem To My Young Self is both impressive and entertaining.

In this situation, you manage to talk about yourself in a way that is neither harsh nor judgemental of your young self... but rather; kind instead. You must have done lots of things right though because your pathways in life, whatever they were, led you here! ha It is kind of a nice poem really.

To My Young Self is very readable.

To be honest, I think the penny dropped for me after the first two verses that it was your present self talking to your distant-past self. I was in so much of a rush to read your work that I did not absorb the title!... something that needed to be understood immediately in order to grasp the context of what was being said.
No need to puzzle over obscure meanings or even re-read lines. Plain language that works within itself and cruises along comfortably in your "relaxed writing-style" mode. There is a confident and "in control" feel about this poem and its technique.. . which is unsurprising given your extensive writing experience... well, in my opinion anyway.
I might say, and this is not a criticism, that I wish there were more specifics instead of the generalities.. haha... but that is only because I am a "nosey parker"!!

I personally believe that with all good poems (including To My Young Self) you go "on stage", get your message across succinctly, and then "off stage". No padding or going on and on.

Your poem was very tantalising.. more for the things it did not say than those it did! But that is to distract from the most important technical side which as always with your writing is spot on.

You will now have to write a follow up please.
Well done Catherine. Certainly a lovely, thoughtful and sensitive poem to be added to your folio.. with satisfaction. Gary.

[Terry]

Hi Catherine

Like Sue I loved the opening stanza's of your poem - that is lovely touching poetry poetry.

And it goes without saying that the rest of your poem is beautifully written as always.

A very enjoyable read Catherine

Terry

[Catherine Lee]

Thank you, Gary and Terry, for your very kind words. I deliberately avoided specifics, Gary, ha! (Like most of us, there are a lot of things I wish my younger self had done differently or hadn’t done at all!) Both of you have made me smile this morning, and as well as your lovely feedback about the poem itself I also appreciate your valuable comments on my writing. Thank you both once again.

[Shelley Hansen]

Oh wow, Catherine - this is so beautifully done! One of those times when I can truly say "I wish I'd written that!"

As usual, I'm dragging my feet and bringing up the rear, but I know for sure that I won't top yours!

Cheers
Shelley

[Catherine Lee]

Ah, thank you so much Shelley, for such very kind words!

[Maureen K Clifford]

A very gentle opening - that was my first thought - such kindness and I love the link using the song from The Platters - that makes a real connection right there, subtle but also telling ... I loved that group.

As I have come to expect with your work this is beautifully crafted Catherine .... if you let if fly I suspect you might pick up a gong or two with it. It is quite charming but the message is impressive.