ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Maureen you will like this.

News for my dog.

1 the next door neighbours live there and they have a right to be in thier own yard so stop barking at them through the bloody window. it would not be so bad but when you actually encounter them you flop on your back and let them rub you tummy.

2 the following are not digestable balloons, crayons, socks, I have seen the evidence around the yard so stop eating them.

3 The new scrubs I planted in the back garden have nothing of value buried under them.

4 The stuff that we put in the dustbin is not your food.

5 oh and lastly I do not wake up at the same time every day ! On weekends we like to sleep in and you wil be fed later so stop scratching and making weird noises at the kitchen door

Oh I did and have penned a response after consultation with my girls into the art of dog speak just to check that I had covered all aspects of your complaints from a canine point of view. You will find it filed under Memo to Dad in the Poetry section.

Dear Bob

Might I suggest you avail yourself of the information contained within the above mentioned memo to foster the very best working relationship and harmonious interaction with all parties concerned.

TTT is deeply concerned that she may have caused any animosity or misunderstanding by her actions and wishes to establish a workable relationship that is sustainable to both parties ASAP. This may involve mediation and flexibility by both parties, but is certainly a problem that can be resolved.

Looking forward to a happy outcome for all concerned

Kind regards

Mahalia J Clifford ... Mbr of WDAU ( Working Dogs of Australia Union) Associate Member of MMEA
Ellyssa M Clifford ....Mbr of ATA (Australian Terriors Association) Associate Member of MMEA

I talked to my terrier about her actions Maureen and her response was to scrape her bum on the carpet ?

Now I know she has been wormed so this I take it was a direct move to assert her opinion.


My kelpie was too busy to even respond and the Lab. Well if i do not have food in my hand Jazz is just not in the slightest interested.


Woof Woof Bob

TTT would appear to have blocked anal glands something very common with small dogs - ask my Elly...Vet assistance is required for fear of dire consequence and it is the only way to solve this uncomfortable (for the dog )and anti social behaviour (in your opinion) - procedure. Somewhat similar to a prostate examination for blokes The TTT wont like it much either.

Kelpies are working dogs they don't have time to sit around and gab all day, and Labs well he/she probably had other fish to fry, or rubbish bins to raid - they are the gastronomic gurus of the canine world.

Was looking for a Jack Russell or Foxie to buy as a pet and saw two Basenjis advertised free to a good home. Didn't know what a Basenji was so went and had a look and agreed to take one. What a mistake! Soon found out what a Basenji was and thanked my lucky stars I hadn't agreed to take both of them. For the uninitiated Basenjis are African dogs and while they resemble Jack Russells in looks that is where the similarity ends. They are perhaps one of the most peculiar dogs or for that matter animals you can imagine. They have no doggie smell, hate cold weather, can climb tall objects, are faster than a whippet over short distances, can't swim, don't bark (but howl or yodel as the books say) have extremely great eyesight, are very, very fierce and can beat dogs many times their size, have absolutely no road sense and do exactly as they wish!
They usually attach themselves to one person and completely ignore everyone else. They are used for hunting in Africa and it is said there great speed, fierceness and lack of dog scent make them very successful. Walt Disney made a movie about them called, I think, Goodbye My Lovely. After all that have to say we had her for thirteen years before she died and still miss her. Shortly after we got Mocha, Basenjis became fashionable amongst the trendys though I used to warn anyone who asked me not to get one. Predictably, rarely see a Basenji now and don't see them advertised for sale anymore.

*Neil pushes aside his breakfast.......*

G'day Vic,

I knew a Basenji once. He owned a Canadian miner at Lightning Ridge. I had noticed he didn't think he was a dog and did not exhibit any 'dog' behaviour at all. He was a nice brown colour male. He had been allowed to develop the habit of running inside at the first opportunity and jumping up on a dining chair and sitting with his front paws facing forward. He didn't slouch at all but always sat bolt upright. As though he was expecting a heated argument or intense conversation. He did not associate with other dogs and ignored them whenever possible.

He was getting ready to bite someone, anyone or anything.

Yes Vic I owned a Basenji one of those that some would call mongrels but if you own one No I had better reclassify that If Basenji owns YOU you have a mate for life they don't bark they Yodell and believe me they can get their message across they have a mind and a will of their own mine would ride on the back of my horse for many miles preened himself like a cat and kept himself spotlessly clean, yes mate their good but only if it owns you.

Bill the old Battler

Note to self do not throw an undersized whiting at the lab. One gulp and it was gone now she has been crook all day.

Bloody garbage guts.

Bob