ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

I had to go to Newcastle to-day and call at several locations. On every road I took, there were groups of old codgers getting along on fancy motorbikes.
One mob had these humungus bike things, all chrome and duco with a massive motor cowling, a great big fat rear wheel and two ! front wheels for steering. weird ! weird !

Could be a bush poem in that. My Life on the Road as a Ulysses Groupie.

Don't look at me to do it. I wouldn't know where to start.

Sounds like a poem for Leonie!

A friend of mine had a Harley and lost her false teeth on the main bridge through town.
This was the result.

The Dangers Of The Road
A tribute To Cher

I love the open country, the feel of freedom in my hair
I cruise along the highway, and taste the cool clean country air
The hot and throbbing pulsing beat, of a big bike between my thighs
a full face mask and helmet, keeps the dust out of my eyes.

But there's danger when your riding, and I better tell you mate
you really won't believe it, so now my story I'll relate.
Now a helmets pretty handy, as it keeps out all the din
but the problem with a full face ,is it lets no fresh air in.

I was ridding through the city, free as a summer breeze
when the sudden urge took over, and I had to bloody sneeze.
I had opened up the visor, as across the city bridge I rode
when I let out a sneeze and my false teeth flew onto the road.

I pulled up in utter panic and back up the road I fairly flew
dodging in and out of cars , nearly got hit by one or two.
I made it to my wayward teeth, but then I had to stop
cause standing there in front of me, was an angry traffic cop.

Now you just try explaining, what I was doing standing there
and no matter what I said you could see trouble in the air
so over to the roadside, they marched me at a trot
they listened to my story though they thought it bloody rot.

A report had come in on the air of a mad woman on the bridge
they'd come out to investigate if it was ridgy didge
As they fired the questions at me against the bridge rail did I slump
the stupid bastards really thought that I was gonna jump.

You know it really took some talking to get me off the hook
and as I left to get back on my bike I got the strangest look
If it hadn't been for my loose lips and the dribble they could see
I'm sure they would have locked me up and chucked away the key.

Yes I got my teeth back in the end, a little worse for wear
and I still wear that battered helmet when I get out in the air
But when I get the urge to sneeze , I shut it tight against the din
Bugger breathing fresh air mate I'd rather keep me falsies in.

Bob Pacey

Pinch your nose. That stops a sneeze.

The Ulysses motor cycle club are holding their annual general meeting in Newcastle during this week. You can expect hundreds of them on the roads around the district.

...if someone pinched your nose I guess it would stop you sneezing....but it would leave a couple of horrible holes in your face!.....

G'day Bob....Would have been a shock if someone had arrived home and found the wayward fangs embedded in the wall of their car tyre.

I could just see you Vic, sitting up on the big machine. You'd come up well.

One of my old work colleagues is in the Ulysses mob, he sports a sign on his jacket that says " adventure before dementia ",

in your friend's case Bob " adventure with the denture "