Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Aug 09, 2011 3:20 pm

You knew he was coming, dogs started to bark
he was old and quite cranky a veritable nark
with his clipboard and folder tucked under his wing
and a hand held electrical power scanning thing.

He didn’t like dogs he had told me before .
A crescendo of barking was raising the floor.
That the dogs didn’t like him was easy to see.
Not the right bloke for this job I think you’ll agree
MKC

...and a few other things that he really hates,
he doesn't like fences or hedges or gates.
But give him a thingy that beeps and assesses
and he'll persevere, ignore such distresses!
Wen

Now dogs are good judges I tell you, what's more
they knew that he was coming, before he made the door.
So as he turned the handle they started to howl.
but what got him moving was the kelpies low growl.

He dropped the clipboard and froze right in his tracks
A little pool of water trickled from his underdaks
he vaulted the railing , cleared the garden in one bound
Hit the path at full speed, and sprawled on the ground.
BP

He swore and he cursed ''you'll pay, wait and see''
as he winced at the blood on his elbow and knee,
and just as he righted himself to his feet,
them dogs came a running, their job not complete.
Sue

The Kelpie, he tore off a piece of an arm
where the Silky latched on, was cause for alarm!
A yowling and yelping quite shattered the peace
the metre man praying the mad mutts would cease!
Wen

it was payback I suppose for this lazy blokes antics
for his incorrect bills had left most people frantic
at the humungous cost of electricity
so I reckon that this was his Karma you see
MKC

But his karma must wait; he had more he would build
and this time, no kidding, his blood would be spilled.
By post to the owner a court order came;
traumatic stress syndrome, the meter man's claim.
Irene

The courtroom was hushed as the Magistrate sat
the dog’s owner respectfully removed his hat
and said ‘Well your honour – this bloke is a curse
there’s not one dog that likes him and he makes it worse.

He yells and he shouts and he waves a big stick
and that riles the dogs up pretty dam quick
He makes such a song and dance each time he comes
that even the mildest dog goes for his bum."
MKC

Quite quickly on You Tube there bloomed a new fad,
a dance craze a favourite from babe to grandad
Firstly you squirm then you wriggle and tap,
you’re doing the metre man’s dance - the ‘bum rap’.
Wen


The magistrate claimed the whole case was a farce
and the evidence compromised by Youtubes class
of bum rappers jigging all over the town.
He kicked the case out and intoned with a frown.

If you’re reading meters then may I suggest
you remember on the dogs home turf you’re a guest,
and as such one should show at least propriety
and respect those protecting their own territory.

MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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worddancer
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Location: Yankalilla, South Australia
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Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by worddancer » Tue Aug 30, 2011 11:37 am

Remember you've only one arm to fling out
And shake that mangy silky about
Drop down to your knees, use both of your feet
Crawl, Kick, and roll to your beepers beat.

Worddancer
It's never to late; just do it
I'll set pen to paper
Write now, not later
And post it so others may view it


Word dancer is happy

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7805
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Aug 30, 2011 3:33 pm

You knew he was coming, dogs started to bark
he was old and quite cranky a veritable nark
with his clipboard and folder tucked under his wing
and a hand held electrical power scanning thing.

He didn’t like dogs he had told me before.
A crescendo of barking was raising the floor.
That the dogs didn’t like him was easy to see.
Not the right bloke for this job I think you’ll agree
MKC

...and a few other things that he really hates,
he doesn't like fences or hedges or gates.
But give him a thingy that beeps and assesses
and he'll persevere, ignore such distresses!
Wen

Now dogs are good judges I tell you, what's more
they knew he was coming, before he made the door.
So as he turned the handle they started to howl.
but what got him moving was the kelpies low growl.

He dropped the clipboard and froze right in his tracks
A little pool of water trickled from his underdaks
he vaulted the railing, cleared the garden in one bound
Hit the path at full speed, and sprawled on the ground.
BP

He swore and he cursed ''you'll pay, wait and see''
as he winced at the blood on his elbow and knee,
and just as he righted himself to his feet,
them dogs came a running, their job not complete.
Sue

The Kelpie, he tore off a piece of an arm
where the Silky latched on, which was cause for alarm!
A yowling and yelping quite shattered the peace
the metre man praying the mad mutts would cease!
Wen

it was payback I suppose for this lazy blokes antics
for his incorrect bills had left most people frantic
at the humungous cost of electricity
so I reckon that this was his Karma you see
MKC

But his karma must wait; he had more he would build
and this time, no kidding, his blood would be spilled.
By post to the owner a court order came;
traumatic stress syndrome, the meter man's claim.
Irene

The courtroom was hushed as the Magistrate sat
the dog’s owner respectfully removed his hat
and said ‘Well your honour – this bloke is a curse
there’s not one dog that likes him and he makes it worse.

He yells and he shouts and he waves a big stick
and that riles the dogs up pretty darn quick
He makes such a song and dance each time he comes
that even the mildest dog goes for his bum."
MKC

Quite quickly on You Tube there bloomed a new fad,
a dance craze a favourite from babe to grandad
Firstly you squirm then you wriggle and tap,
you’re doing the metre man’s dance - the ‘bum rap’.
Wen

The magistrate claimed the whole case was a farce
and the evidence compromised by YouTube’s class
of bum rappers jigging all over the town.
He kicked the case out and intoned with a frown.

“If you’re reading meters then may I suggest
you remember on the dogs home turf you’re a guest,
and as such one should show at least propriety
and respect those protecting their own territory.

MKC

Remember you've only one arm to fling out
And shake that mangy silky about
Drop down to your knees, use both of your feet
Crawl, Kick, and roll to your beepers beat.

Wordancer

But if that is what you are doing my friend
It would be my opinion that you’ll meet an end
that’s nasty and painful – and dogs I’ll not shoot
It is you Sir I would hope that would get the boot.

For to me it is obvious you are unsuited
to be reading meters – and you are reputed
to be quite an arrogant son of a bitch
so might I suggest occupations you switch.

You’d be better suited to penal correction
where inmates could verbally share their reflections
on your workplace tactics and professional skills
with no chance at all that you’d doctor the bills.”

MKC
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Irene
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Location: Jurien Bay. WA
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Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by Irene » Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:51 pm

You knew he was coming, dogs started to bark
he was old and quite cranky a veritable nark
with his clipboard and folder tucked under his wing
and a hand held electrical power scanning thing.

He didn’t like dogs he had told me before.
A crescendo of barking was raising the floor.
That the dogs didn’t like him was easy to see.
Not the right bloke for this job I think you’ll agree
MKC

...and a few other things that he really hates,
he doesn't like fences or hedges or gates.
But give him a thingy that beeps and assesses
and he'll persevere, ignore such distresses!
Wen

Now dogs are good judges I tell you, what's more
they knew he was coming, before he made the door.
So as he turned the handle they started to howl.
but what got him moving was the kelpies low growl.

He dropped the clipboard and froze right in his tracks
A little pool of water trickled from his underdaks
he vaulted the railing, cleared the garden in one bound
Hit the path at full speed, and sprawled on the ground.
BP

He swore and he cursed ''you'll pay, wait and see''
as he winced at the blood on his elbow and knee,
and just as he righted himself to his feet,
them dogs came a running, their job not complete.
Sue

The Kelpie, he tore off a piece of an arm
where the Silky latched on, which was cause for alarm!
A yowling and yelping quite shattered the peace
the metre man praying the mad mutts would cease!
Wen

it was payback I suppose for this lazy blokes antics
for his incorrect bills had left most people frantic
at the humungous cost of electricity
so I reckon that this was his Karma you see
MKC

But his karma must wait; he had more he would build
and this time, no kidding, his blood would be spilled.
By post to the owner a court order came;
traumatic stress syndrome, the meter man's claim.
Irene

The courtroom was hushed as the Magistrate sat
the dog’s owner respectfully removed his hat
and said ‘Well your honour – this bloke is a curse
there’s not one dog that likes him and he makes it worse.

He yells and he shouts and he waves a big stick
and that riles the dogs up pretty darn quick
He makes such a song and dance each time he comes
that even the mildest dog goes for his bum."
MKC

Quite quickly on You Tube there bloomed a new fad,
a dance craze a favourite from babe to grandad
Firstly you squirm then you wriggle and tap,
you’re doing the metre man’s dance - the ‘bum rap’.
Wen

The magistrate claimed the whole case was a farce
and the evidence compromised by YouTube’s class
of bum rappers jigging all over the town.
He kicked the case out and intoned with a frown.

“If you’re reading meters then may I suggest
you remember on the dogs home turf you’re a guest,
and as such one should show at least propriety
and respect those protecting their own territory.

MKC

Remember you've only one arm to fling out
And shake that mangy silky about
Drop down to your knees, use both of your feet
Crawl, Kick, and roll to your beepers beat.

Wordancer

But if that is what you are doing my friend
It would be my opinion that you’ll meet an end
that’s nasty and painful – and dogs I’ll not shoot
It is you Sir I would hope that would get the boot.

For to me it is obvious you are unsuited
to be reading meters – and you are reputed
to be quite an arrogant son of a bitch
so might I suggest occupations you switch.

You’d be better suited to penal correction
where inmates could verbally share their reflections
on your workplace tactics and professional skills
with no chance at all that you’d doctor the bills.”

MKC

So the meter man, humbled, withdrew from his job;
he bowed to the taunts of that bum rapping mob.
And now he sits daily, a beer in his hand,
Never mourning the day that the dogs took a stand.
What goes around, comes around.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7805
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:29 pm

Well there you go folks that was a bit of fun and Irene's last stanza seems to be a good place to end it - so time now for number 12.

Have got a bonzer idea for that one so will set it up but if someone has something better dive right in - I can easily kill mine off :lol: :lol: :lol:

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

User avatar
Maureen K Clifford
Posts: 7805
Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
Contact:

Re: Collaborative poem 11 - It's all to do with Meter

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Sat Jul 06, 2013 8:35 am

Just had a read of this one and it is so funny and really good - would anyone who contributed this have any objections to me pinching it to showcase in a magazine as a collaboration?

If I get no responses I will take it as given

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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