LEMONS
Posted: Mon Apr 21, 2014 8:44 am
LEMONS
King Henry VIII of England had a strong naval force. The pride of Henry’s fleet was a caravel type sailing ship named the Mary Rose. For 30 years the Mary Rose had performed excellent service as a powerful military vessel, that is, until 1545.
In 1545 the English were at war with the French and a naval battle ensued in the Solent off the Isle of Wight. Henry’s battle fleet set out up the Solent, led by the magnificent Mary Rose. Armed with large bronze cannons and with flags flying, sails spreading and weapons ready, the Mary Rose turned into the wind , heeled over…..and sank like a stone. In a matter of minutes, this ship was transformed from a rose to a lemon.
Of course, history is littered with many flops, foozles and failures; often characterized as lemons. For example, the Ford Edsel, the Leyland P76 with its aluminium V8 motor, the dynamite artillery shell and the unsinkable Titanic.
There have been literary allusions like Lemony Snikket, and political lemons such as Joh for PM, Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party and Mark Latham for PM. Although Latham is probably more sour grapes than sour lemons.
But why should failures be called lemons ? We lemons are getting just a bit jack of this.
“ Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat “ so sang Peter Paul and Mary. What rubbish !
Lemons are not failures, lemons are not useless or unpalatable, far from it !
We are the victims of discriminatory stereotyping.
Lemons have an important and irreplaceable part to play in life’s pleasures.
Without lemons there would be no lemonade. Raffles Hotel would go to the wall without this vital ingredient of the Singapore Sling. And what about lemon meringue pie. Would anyone want to have the sickly revolting banality of orange meringue pie?. No way !
And there would be a catastrophic collapse of the fish and chips market without lemon wedges to squeeze over your battered fish pieces. Greek cuisine would fall like the Roman Empire without lemons to flavour the calamari and tsiziki.
So understand why we lemons are upset at the unjust application of the name lemons as a common cacophemism. We protest, we take issue, take offense
demur, dissent and expostulate at this citrophobic stereotyping.
It’s time for lemons everywhere to advance with citrus pride.
We will celebrate our usefulness and indispensible place in the practice of culinary sophistication.
See our aureate skin; the colour of the sun. Look on us and admire.
Lemon activism will ensure that lemons will no longer be the name of something gone sour, rather lemon should refer to something golden and fragrant and zesty.
King Henry VIII of England had a strong naval force. The pride of Henry’s fleet was a caravel type sailing ship named the Mary Rose. For 30 years the Mary Rose had performed excellent service as a powerful military vessel, that is, until 1545.
In 1545 the English were at war with the French and a naval battle ensued in the Solent off the Isle of Wight. Henry’s battle fleet set out up the Solent, led by the magnificent Mary Rose. Armed with large bronze cannons and with flags flying, sails spreading and weapons ready, the Mary Rose turned into the wind , heeled over…..and sank like a stone. In a matter of minutes, this ship was transformed from a rose to a lemon.
Of course, history is littered with many flops, foozles and failures; often characterized as lemons. For example, the Ford Edsel, the Leyland P76 with its aluminium V8 motor, the dynamite artillery shell and the unsinkable Titanic.
There have been literary allusions like Lemony Snikket, and political lemons such as Joh for PM, Pauline Hanson’s One Nation Party and Mark Latham for PM. Although Latham is probably more sour grapes than sour lemons.
But why should failures be called lemons ? We lemons are getting just a bit jack of this.
“ Lemon tree very pretty and the lemon flower is sweet, but the fruit of the poor lemon is impossible to eat “ so sang Peter Paul and Mary. What rubbish !
Lemons are not failures, lemons are not useless or unpalatable, far from it !
We are the victims of discriminatory stereotyping.
Lemons have an important and irreplaceable part to play in life’s pleasures.
Without lemons there would be no lemonade. Raffles Hotel would go to the wall without this vital ingredient of the Singapore Sling. And what about lemon meringue pie. Would anyone want to have the sickly revolting banality of orange meringue pie?. No way !
And there would be a catastrophic collapse of the fish and chips market without lemon wedges to squeeze over your battered fish pieces. Greek cuisine would fall like the Roman Empire without lemons to flavour the calamari and tsiziki.
So understand why we lemons are upset at the unjust application of the name lemons as a common cacophemism. We protest, we take issue, take offense
demur, dissent and expostulate at this citrophobic stereotyping.
It’s time for lemons everywhere to advance with citrus pride.
We will celebrate our usefulness and indispensible place in the practice of culinary sophistication.
See our aureate skin; the colour of the sun. Look on us and admire.
Lemon activism will ensure that lemons will no longer be the name of something gone sour, rather lemon should refer to something golden and fragrant and zesty.