A series of quatrains, the second and fourth lines of each stanza repeated as the first and third lines of the next.
Stanza 1 A B C D
Stanza 2 B E D F
Stanza 3 E G F H
Stanza 4 G I H J
50 shades of weigh[ – a Pantoum
Without my glasses when I look
in the mirror – standing there
I see a shapely nubile form
that does not cast me in despair.
In the mirror – standing there
a goddess Reubenesque in shape,
that does not cast me in despair
the first mistake that I did make.
A goddess Reubenesque in shape
with symmetry of female form
the first mistake that I did make
for seems this size is not the norm
With symmetry of female form
to my eyes being somewhat vague
the first mistake that I did make
was Darrell Lea not Jenny Craig.
50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
-
- Posts: 758
- Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:55 pm
- Location: Blue Mtns.
Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
Certainly a challenge with a difference there Maureen, (the form and rhyming pattern I mean, not the theme! ) and you have created a good laugh with it also. Well done
Good to see that there is a fountain of youth! albeit in the mirror!
Cheers
Ron
Good to see that there is a fountain of youth! albeit in the mirror!
Cheers
Ron
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- Posts: 3307
- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm
Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
Gotta watch that Darrel Lea Maureen.
Looks a bit too tricky for me at the moment.
Make me realize how little I know about this form of poetry.
Terry
Looks a bit too tricky for me at the moment.
Make me realize how little I know about this form of poetry.
Terry
- Shelley Hansen
- Posts: 2224
- Joined: Sun May 04, 2014 5:39 pm
- Location: Maryborough, Queensland
- Contact:
Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
Well done, Maureen! You've encouraged me to post my pantoum now - you've probably already read it earlier this year in my newsletter eLines.
Cheers
Shelley
Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8074
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
Delighted you all seemed to enjoy this and far to late to be watching anything dietary - the damage is done. Thank you all for reading and commenting.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
- Catherine Lee
- Posts: 1321
- Joined: Mon May 14, 2012 9:47 pm
- Location: Thailand
Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum
So enjoyed this, Maureen. Most unexpected - and most relatable!