50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

For sharing of original song lyrics, together with haiku, sonnets and other unusual poetry forms. Although not strictly bush poetry, we welcome the sharing of members' compositions in these three genres, with a view to inclusiveness and mutual encouragement. Open to all Registered Forum Users. See Board Index for separate section on free verse and non-rhyming poetry.
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Maureen K Clifford
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Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Oct 05, 2021 10:20 am

A series of quatrains, the second and fourth lines of each stanza repeated as the first and third lines of the next.

Stanza 1 A B C D
Stanza 2 B E D F
Stanza 3 E G F H
Stanza 4 G I H J


50 shades of weigh[ – a Pantoum


Without my glasses when I look
in the mirror – standing there
I see a shapely nubile form
that does not cast me in despair.

In the mirror – standing there
a goddess Reubenesque in shape,
that does not cast me in despair
the first mistake that I did make.

A goddess Reubenesque in shape
with symmetry of female form
the first mistake that I did make
for seems this size is not the norm

With symmetry of female form
to my eyes being somewhat vague
the first mistake that I did make
was Darrell Lea not Jenny Craig. :lol:
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

Ron
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Joined: Tue Nov 02, 2010 5:55 pm
Location: Blue Mtns.

Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Ron » Thu Oct 07, 2021 5:37 pm

Certainly a challenge with a difference there Maureen, (the form and rhyming pattern I mean, not the theme! ;) ) and you have created a good laugh with it also. Well done
Good to see that there is a fountain of youth! albeit in the mirror!

Cheers
Ron

Terry
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Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Terry » Fri Oct 08, 2021 11:35 am

Gotta watch that Darrel Lea Maureen.

Looks a bit too tricky for me at the moment.
Make me realize how little I know about this form of poetry.

Terry

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Shelley Hansen » Wed Oct 13, 2021 3:40 pm

Well done, Maureen! You've encouraged me to post my pantoum now - you've probably already read it earlier this year in my newsletter eLines.

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Maureen K Clifford
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Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Oct 19, 2021 10:39 am

Delighted you all seemed to enjoy this and far to late to be watching anything dietary - the damage is done. :roll: Thank you all for reading and commenting.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Catherine Lee
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Location: Thailand

Re: 50 shades of weigh .. a pantoum

Post by Catherine Lee » Wed Nov 03, 2021 4:58 pm

So enjoyed this, Maureen. Most unexpected - and most relatable!

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