September Sky

[warooa]

Thank you one and all for your reply's.

Marty

[David J Delaney]

G'day mate, this is tops eh!...love this time of year, the mornings are still 'fresh' & the days are warming up quite well, the evenings & mornings you've described perfectly.......

[Bob Pacey]

If ya put some bloody clothes on or get a bigger leaf perhaps it would not be so cold ???


Winter here was on the first week in August.


Very well done Sir but there are still a couple of big words in there that I will have to look up to get the full meaning Marty.



Feel like that sometimes fishing off the northern beaches here, not a soul in sight and if ya get bored well ya can always practice poetry and only the seagulls complain.

Bob

[warooa]

Thanks Bob . . . don't annoy them Seagulls too much

and yer not wrong Dave . . . stuck between the tropical winter chill and the overbearing heat . . . it's a bloody beatiful time of year!

Marty

[Robyn]

Lovely Marty, it's great to see the observant eye in action. It's all very evocative.
Just a suggestion: where you've got

The season turns and quickly burns
the last remnants of winter

remnants pulled me up when reading it. I think remains would fit the metre better, or something more concrete like the last dry grass of winter.
But it's only a minor point: remnants may be exactly the word you wanted and in any case, I really like the overall effect.
Cheers
Robyn

[Dave Smith]

Yeah Marty well done, that sure is a great place where you live, we still have vivid memories of our couple of days up there with you.

TTFM

[warooa]

Thanks Dave. . . come on back up over anytime, the swimming pool is up - had Willow's birthday party yesterday. Mate, the door is always . . eer, wait up we haven't got one

Yes Robyn . . thanks for your comments, and yes . . that particular word - remnants - was pointed out to me (and rightly so) by another astute poetic person as being a bit jarring. I'll see what I can do with it.

Cheers, Marty