Empty Rooms
- alongtimegone
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- Location: Brisbane
Empty Rooms
In March 2015 Empty Rooms was a homework assignment and I wrote the following eight lines in response.
An old man sits at the top of the stairs
as around him the day disappears.
The pavement still brisk; 'home hurrying' others.
He watches their thoughts. He senses their fears.
He knows of the lonely that’s etched on each face.
An existent in which one reality looms
A place set for one; a glass of forgetting;
a house filled with empty rooms.
On re-reading recently I thought I needed to tell a little more of his story.
Empty Rooms
an old man sits at the top of the stairs
as around him the day disappears
the pavement still brisk; home hurrying others
he senses their thoughts he imagines their fears
he knows of the lonely that’s etched on their faces
their dreams their yearnings commitments they’d made
when the world was a rainbow of wonderful places
and life was not lived in the cold in the shade
time was he was part of the journey the stream
he’d played the same music and sung the same songs
shared feelings with all those who’d once dared to dream
and tried to make sense of life’s rights and its wrongs
he’d walked the same pathways and run the same races
watched the world turning through life’s nights and days
loved many girls and enjoyed their embraces
been foolish and wise in so many ways
through the door just behind is a room dark and cold
haunted by echoes of what might have been
it smells of old memories and thoughts uncontrolled
and mind maps of places imagined and seen
but the day’s light is dimming the last of sun’s setting
and now in his winter one reality looms
it’s a place set for one with a glass of forgetting
a life filled with empty rooms
Wazza
An old man sits at the top of the stairs
as around him the day disappears.
The pavement still brisk; 'home hurrying' others.
He watches their thoughts. He senses their fears.
He knows of the lonely that’s etched on each face.
An existent in which one reality looms
A place set for one; a glass of forgetting;
a house filled with empty rooms.
On re-reading recently I thought I needed to tell a little more of his story.
Empty Rooms
an old man sits at the top of the stairs
as around him the day disappears
the pavement still brisk; home hurrying others
he senses their thoughts he imagines their fears
he knows of the lonely that’s etched on their faces
their dreams their yearnings commitments they’d made
when the world was a rainbow of wonderful places
and life was not lived in the cold in the shade
time was he was part of the journey the stream
he’d played the same music and sung the same songs
shared feelings with all those who’d once dared to dream
and tried to make sense of life’s rights and its wrongs
he’d walked the same pathways and run the same races
watched the world turning through life’s nights and days
loved many girls and enjoyed their embraces
been foolish and wise in so many ways
through the door just behind is a room dark and cold
haunted by echoes of what might have been
it smells of old memories and thoughts uncontrolled
and mind maps of places imagined and seen
but the day’s light is dimming the last of sun’s setting
and now in his winter one reality looms
it’s a place set for one with a glass of forgetting
a life filled with empty rooms
Wazza
Last edited by alongtimegone on Tue Apr 02, 2024 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Empty Rooms
That's really good Wazza, must be so many lonely people out there with those thoughts of emptiness and just what might have been.
You have covered it so well with great descriptive lines, well done!
Cheers
Ron.
You have covered it so well with great descriptive lines, well done!
Cheers
Ron.
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- Joined: Mon Nov 01, 2010 6:53 pm
Re: Empty Rooms
Hi Warren
Good thoughtful poem - that I can relate to.
Due to my wife's prolonged illness, I have been coming home for the last 6 months to an empty house,
and you're right it's lonely, and much of what you say could well apply to me.
But you're way ahead of me, I've started a similar poem, but progress has been snail pace.
I have a name mind you 'Home Alone' but that name has been used before, I think.
Cheers Mate
Terry
Good thoughtful poem - that I can relate to.
Due to my wife's prolonged illness, I have been coming home for the last 6 months to an empty house,
and you're right it's lonely, and much of what you say could well apply to me.
But you're way ahead of me, I've started a similar poem, but progress has been snail pace.
I have a name mind you 'Home Alone' but that name has been used before, I think.
Cheers Mate
Terry
- alongtimegone
- Posts: 1273
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:05 pm
- Location: Brisbane
Re: Empty Rooms
Thanks Ron and Terry.
A recent survey conducted by men's health organization Healthy Male found that 43 per cent of Australian men were lonely, with 16 per cent experiencing high levels of loneliness.Probably applies to women also I'd guess.
Wazza
A recent survey conducted by men's health organization Healthy Male found that 43 per cent of Australian men were lonely, with 16 per cent experiencing high levels of loneliness.Probably applies to women also I'd guess.
Wazza
- Gary Harding
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Re: Empty Rooms
Well written Wazza! Some very perceptive lines containing interesting and remarkably pointed reflections.
Your poem recalls the line of John O'Brien "When that hours comes and I shall sit alone and ponder on the things that were, but are no more"
or Lawson's :
"Turn the light down, nurse, and leave me, while I hold my last review.."
And your "old man" sort of holds his Review sitting at the top of the stairs. "....been foolish and wise in so many ways"
One can always hold such a life's review without being old though, I trust?
A good thing about computers and communications is that you can have friends (an extremely broad and flexible word) whom you may or may not ever meet in real life because of the tyranny of distance, but nevertheless are Very Special people. They can be Friends yes, and friends of the mind too, and as loneliness has its genesis in The Mind, computers can also help to prevent loneliness for some??? But that is just my opinion...
So at home at least, you need never, never-ever have an Empty Room.
Your poem recalls the line of John O'Brien "When that hours comes and I shall sit alone and ponder on the things that were, but are no more"
or Lawson's :
"Turn the light down, nurse, and leave me, while I hold my last review.."
And your "old man" sort of holds his Review sitting at the top of the stairs. "....been foolish and wise in so many ways"
One can always hold such a life's review without being old though, I trust?
A good thing about computers and communications is that you can have friends (an extremely broad and flexible word) whom you may or may not ever meet in real life because of the tyranny of distance, but nevertheless are Very Special people. They can be Friends yes, and friends of the mind too, and as loneliness has its genesis in The Mind, computers can also help to prevent loneliness for some??? But that is just my opinion...
So at home at least, you need never, never-ever have an Empty Room.
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
![Smile :)](./images/smilies/icon_e_smile.gif)
- alongtimegone
- Posts: 1273
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:05 pm
- Location: Brisbane
Re: Empty Rooms
Thanks Gary. That's a very thoughtful response.
Wazza
Wazza
- Catherine Lee
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Re: Empty Rooms
A well written and deeply moving poem, Wazza. I've read it several times over and it really does convey the loneliness so well. There are several lines I could single out but "it’s a place set for one with a glass of forgetting" stood out for me on first reading. There are so many lonely people in the world today, for various reasons, and this poem is a powerful and poignant reminder.
- alongtimegone
- Posts: 1273
- Joined: Thu Jan 10, 2013 2:05 pm
- Location: Brisbane
Re: Empty Rooms
Thank you for that Catherine. It is a concern and an escalating problem in today's society. I am sure it applies to women also. The world can be a sad place for some.
Wazza
Wazza
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Re: Empty Rooms
Hi Wazza, a scary thought for those of us getting up there a bit...I have sent you a private message too.
Ross
Ross
Ross