Page 1 of 2
					
				MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 9:49 am
				by Neville Briggs
				MY COMPETITION ENTRY
I've tried to please the judges with my rhyme,
and make a careful strict consistent metre.
It's hard to match the words for every time
that judges will be pleased to see a rhyme.
And they consider it a dreadful crime,
inserting substitutions in the metre.
I'll try to please the judges with my rhyme,
and make a careful strict consistent metre.
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 10:55 am
				by Maureen K Clifford
				Think your needles stuck in the groove which ain't groovy 
  
 
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 1:43 pm
				by Heather
				Well, Neville, I thought your rhyme was good except for the word metre. I'd try to find another word. Time, slime, mime, sublime, whine should work.  Keep up the good work though, you'll get there eventually. 
Heather  

 
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 5:01 pm
				by Neville Briggs
				Now I'll have to go in the dunce's corner   

We all have to write some junk sometimes Marty, that's part of the learning process I think.  
Maureen, It's just a little exercise in writing a triolet, which is a sort of round and that form requires repeated phrases.  
It's not a story , just a bit of a play on words because the verse is in strict metre and rhyme.  

  trust me Heather  

 
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 5:48 pm
				by Bob Pacey
				Whats that Neville a toilet ????
it is round on the top I know.
lost me
Bob
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 6:29 pm
				by Neville Briggs
				Tough audience to-night.  

 
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Tue May 03, 2011 9:27 pm
				by Maureen K Clifford
				
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:13 am
				by Heather
				Neville, I don't think I could trust anyone that hides behind a book...,mmmmm
Maureen, don't go there (the naughty corner) - you just never know who might be there...
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:17 am
				by Bob Pacey
				Come on in my little cherub.
I've made this pad my own.
Tv, Video, Computor, Fridge and of course pictures on the wall.
Got lots of tools and stuf.
Hang on this is not a naughty corner it's a bloody shed.
Yoe beauty
			 
			
					
				Re: MY COMPETITION ENTRY
				Posted: Wed May 04, 2011 9:26 am
				by Maureen K Clifford
				Now Bob was that invitation for me??? or for young Heather???? because she is the little cherub I am merely the wistful old woman according to he who shall be nameless because both his names are the same 
 
If you meant me (be still my heart)  I have always liked sheds and Bunnings is by far my most favourite 

  store. (Batting eyelashes)