Me N Betty Windsor

[Zondrae]

I know this needs some work but I had to post it while it is still topical.


Me n Betty Windsor
© Zondrae King (Corrimal ) 10/10

An invitation came this morning to a morning tea.
It had my name upon it. Such a big surprise you see.
The ‘do in question’ being held, was quite some miles away,
I’m glad it wasn’t soon as I would have to fly and stay.

An invite that was asking me to have tea with the Queen
is something I have wanted ever since I was a teen.
I’m sure, as she’s a granny now, there’s lots we’d talk about,
her husband’s over 80 so he’s sure to have the gout.

From her I’d like to ask advice on how to make ends meet.
She manages a fortune and must watch her balance sheet.
Where does she get her hair done cause it always looks so trim.
Her stylist, if available, I’d like to visit him.

The hats she’s wearing lately are so drab and out of date.
So she should see my cousin and she wouldn’t have to wait
for millinery service. I could put in a good word.
My cousin makes for DJs, and her prices aren’t absurd.

I worry ‘bout her footwear. Betty must get aching feet.
With all that royal walking and the people she must meet.
Why do they make her stand and watch Her soldiers march the street?
If I was organising I’d make sure she had a seat.

Did you notice all the weight she’s put on over the years.
You’d think someone would tell her. But I guess they have their fears.
In times gone by a king or queen could say “Off with her head”.
but these days it’s democracy or else we’d all be dead.

If Betty Windsor needs a rest I recommend that she
take time off from the palace. She should come and stay with me
I’d take her round the area – to all the local sights
and make a nice bed on the couch, for her for several nights.

If Betty came to my place, I would put her in some thongs.
I’d fill the cd player up with Enda Kenny songs.
Although he wasn’t born here, he has songs so patriotic.
She’d find his brilliant lyrics are so great, if not hypnotic.

She’d have a new experience, like none she’s had before.
If she would stay at my place there’d be no guards on the door.
She’d sleep in if she wanted or eat dinner on her knee
while in the lounge and watching ‘neighbours’ on our new TV.

My place is very diff'rent from her palace over there
and I’d take her for a coffee in the outdoor cafe where
the sea gulls would fly round her and then screech and land nearby
or maybe drop a message on her lap from way up high.

Don’t know if it would horrify or if it would amuse.
Would she let down her normal guard and royally abuse.
I’d deck her out in shorts and I would take her to the beach,
East Corrimal is quiet and in easy walking reach.

Then give her that good ‘talking to’ my kids call number four
about the need for thrifty-ness and sharing with the poor.
I prob’ly wouldn’t really 'cause I’d just be overawed.
I’d find my tongue all twisted and poor Betty would be bored.

I think I’d best be knocking back this invite sent to me
although I’ve always wanted to meet Betty and have tea.
I am just a humble poet, mother, house wife and no more.
I think I’d faint if royalty came knocking at my door.

[Heather]

That's fantastic Zondrae Fancy telling the Queen she has put on weight. And the thought of the Her Majesty having dinner on her knee and in shorts on the beach - too much! Funny, I'd never thought of the Queen as "Betty". Just doesn't seem right somehow. Very funny Zondrae.

Oh, and Prince Phillip is 90 I believe. (Google will know)

[Maureen K Clifford]

Her hat was quite nice this time Zondrae or the one she wore to Brisbane anyway the pistachio green number...very elegant. I think she would probably enjoy going to the beach - her days are so regimented or so they seem.

[Heather]

She'd need thongs for the beach Maureen. I can't imagine the Queen in thongs somehow! And sunscreen...

[Neville Briggs]

I kinda feel sorry for the Queen, she is required by duty to be what she has to be; tradition has forced a sort of rigid stoicism on her.

Great poem Zondrae, about time we saw some of your latest creations, I miss them.

[william williams]

very clever Zondrae
With all that pomp and nessary things to uphold life must be a real mongrel for her I often wonder if she would like just once in her adult life wish for the freedom and just to be normal

Bill Williams

[Heather]

Yes but Marty, her life isn't her own. I wouldn't like it.

[Bob Pacey]

The Queen is a lady. I'll say no more .


Queens Lander.


Bob

[Zondrae]

morning Bob,

Thank you for the reminder. I usually consider myself as acting like a lady. (well that's what my mother was aiming for anyway) I was about to tell Marty B to go and bite his b... but no! I am reminded that a Lady would not use that type of language. Suffice to say, I think that Her Majesty would miss a lot of the little pleasures in life and I would be delighted to give her a day off and take her to our beach and show her how to really relax. I bet she'd love to have a meal on her lap in front of the TV but then again, after a lifetime of such constricting life style, I think it would take a lot more than one day for her to learn to relax. I bet she doesn't even own a pair of Ugg Boots.

I often wonder if she has ever laughed. You know that roll around the floor type of laughter where you have to hold your sides and your cheeks hurt and tears run down your face. Come to think of it, it's been a while since I've laughed like that. Where is Martin Pearson when you need him?

It is difficult to imaging Her Majesty peeling prawns... ah?

Thanks everyone for the replies. I know this poem is very rough but I didn't want to miss the chance to post it while our (or if Marty prefers, my) Queen is in the country. I have another poem with a Royal reference but I'll keep it for another time.

[Bob Pacey]

Perhaps we need to treat her to a bush poet concert Zondrae !!! I watched Dads Army last night and had a good laugh. I think the pommies have a great sense of humour.


Oh watched a Doris Day Movie as well yesterday what a wonderful actor and I'm sure person.


Bob