Children on a Carousel

[Irene]

I received an email from Tony Stoddart regarding a requested topic for the bushverse site - Children on a Carousel.
The lady requesting it was speaking of her memory of watching her two grand children riding a carousel while she was watching. Their father - her son - had died previously.

Children On a Carousel
© Irene Conner 24/12/10

There’s the sound of music ringing
in her ears, with voices singing,
and the joy-filled shouts of children as they ride towards their dream.
Painted ponies they are riding,
down the tracks with reins they’re guiding
with no thought for life’s reality - that things aren’t what they seem.

Carefree days of love and laughter
she remembers well, long after
life has led her on a journey that has torn her world apart.
Painful mem’ries still are drifting
but she feels her spirits lifting
as the sight of two young children brings a joy into her heart.

Painted ponies – they adore them
like their father did before them;
there’s a magic in the carousel that lights their youthful eyes.
And a Grandma sees them riding
and she knows her son’s still guiding
them along the path they travel, tho' in silence she still cries.

But she knows there’s no point dwelling
on the mem’ries that are swelling
as his children, with their laughter, build a bridge between the two.
So she sits in contemplation;
feels a sense of restoration
as the children on the carousel keep dreaming - as kids do.

[Kym]

Absolutely lovely IRene, but then that's normal for you! I also have one called Painted Ponies, but it's not as good as yours. I saw somewhere else that you were concerned about "ing" endings - what's wrong with that? There's nothing with a soft syllable on the end, that's just a feminine rhyme. It gives it a very soft feeling, which suits the mood of the poem perfectly.

I love it.

Kym.

[Kym]

Haha, I just noticed your signature line "what goes around, comes around" - that suits the carousel poem too ...

[Dave Smith]

Irene as per normal good poem, children have a way of easing pain of lost loved ones and no one can hug granddaughters like a nanna. I do love the “ing” endings.

TTFN

[Heather]

A beautiful, wistful poem Irene. It made me sad. I really like the soft endings too.

Heather

[r.magnay]

G'day Irene, Being the smitten Poppa that I am you certainly hit the required nerve with me, another of your always well written poems, very well done.

[Zondrae]

G'day Irene,

I will make sure I take this one on Wednesday. I had noticed you have been writing a few lately. I'm pleased about that. I always love reading your poems.

Isn't it amazing, the wonderful poems that come out of our 'homework' topics. The lady requesting this poem is a presenter on our local community radio. Tony went to see her to line up some 'on air' time for our poets group. Tony was the driving force behind starting Illawarra Breakfast Poets. We had good representation at Illawarra Folk Festival. On one morning, at the Poets Breakfast, of the twenty seven who presented a poem, seven were our members.

I have almost finished my poem on this topic. We had three topics current over the break, 'Children on a Carousel', '..and the band played..' and the chance to write on a subject of your own choice. (as long as it was a new poem and not a substitute). I have one complete, one almost done and one just started. Two are due on 19th, when we resume and the other a week after that.

[Bob Pacey]

Great poem Irene and all us grandparents can close our eyes and dream.

Ps the third verse with them and them just seems a bit out of place ?

Cheers Bob

[Kym]

Nah, it's ok Bob. That's how feminine rhymes work. It's the hard syllable that has to rhyme and the last (soft) syllable must be the same. Look at swelling, dwelling, riding, guiding - the last syllable is the same in each, but the emphasised syllable rhymes. Maybe it just stands out to you because it happens to appear in two words, but the rhyming rules still apply - adorethem, beforethem. It's all good.

Did you also notice IRene used riding/guiding twice, but often the poet deliberately does that sort of thing to emphasise a certain message in the story. I will often use the same line/s at the beginning and at the end to "tie" the story together.

But don't you worry about IRene, she knows what she's doing!

[Neville Briggs]

Good on ya Irene.

We always called those things.. the merry-go-round.