The Resume

[thestoryteller]

THE RESUME

My parents spent some eighteen years on educating me,
but then they said, “It’s job time son!” and I said, “I agree.”
My first job was with orange juice; a fact’ry interstate.
But sadly I got canned you see. I couldn’t concentrate.

Then tried a job as Lumber Jack to walk in grandpa’s tracks,
but simply couldn’t hack it like and yes I got the axe.
I tried to be a Tailor then and thought I’d make a bob,
but simply wasn’t suited there; a boring sew-sew job.

So turned to making mufflers in a fact’ry my mate owned,
but found it too exhausting there and I just moaned and groaned.
I thought I’d take a Chefs job on to add spice to my life,
but found I didn’t have the thyme which got me into strife.

A Deli worker seemed okay but dang I sliced it too.
You just don’t cut the mustard!” was the Bosses point of view.
So then I joined a local band and loved it I must say,
but wasn’t quite noteworthy said the lads the other day.

Perhaps a Doctor would suit me and studied hard and long,
but didn’t have the patience, so another choice went wrong.
My uncle had a shoe fac’try and kindly gave me work,
but didn’t fit in there at all and man I felt a jerk.

I tried my hand at fishing too, but only for a year.
Net income wasn’t good enough to live on mate I fear.
Pool maintenance then came my way and tried that for a while,
but far to draining so to speak, it really cramped my style.

The local gym then took me on but said within a week.
“You’re not fit for the job at all.” I thought they had a cheek.
The local Library advertised …Historian in need.
But found no future in the job and sadly they agreed.

I found a job at Starbuck’s then, but what went through my mind.
I’m out of here as I’m bored stiff, it was the same old grind.
So looking at my resume has surely proved to me,
retirement is the perfect job and mate it sure suits me.