The Stand at Stinkybark Creek

[thestoryteller]

THE STAND AT STINKYBARK CK.

The Stinkies were a bikie gang, who rode throughout the west,
intent on gaining fame through fear, as that's what they did best.
They stole school children's lunches and they pinched young babes in arms
and forced old ladies 'cross the road ... just some of their cute charms.

The gang pinched squad car’s hub caps just to taunt the local cops
and played their hard rock music discs outside most business shops.
Most auctioneers at cattle sales were tired of their false bids,
but worst of all they sold red drinks to hyperactive kids.

Then finally detectives came to track the Stinkies down,
converging on their fav'rite haunt outside a small bush town.
Beside the creek at Stinkybark stood Poddy Jones' pub
and when the four booked in the place they got a royal snub.

The Stinkies heard they lay in wait and planned on getting square,
but as they crept up to the place just two police were there.
Seems Konaday and Hanlon were out combing bush outside,
while Donican and Stackonmire were both preoccupied.

Determined now to take them on the Stinkies rode on in,
their Harleys spewing out black smoke and making quite a din.
Detective Donican jumped up and hid behind the bar,
as Red the bikie leader sprayed graffiti on their car.

Both Konaday and Hanlon then returned upon the scene,
but Stackonmire exclaimed out loud, "The Stinkies ... and they're mean!"
Then in a flash young Hanlon backed up to the leader's bike
and just like dominoes they fell ... while Hanlon yelled, "A strike!"

The brother of the leader Red then grabbed darts from the board
and hurled them at the squad cars tyres ... and yes, the lad had scored.
Detective Konaday then played the nastiest of pranks
by pouring lots of Nobby's Nuts into the Harleys’ tanks.

A Stinkies member, young Bo Stern, now felt they'd gone too far,
so bent the two-way's aerial upon the lawmen's car.
"That's low!" then shouted Stackonmire, who grabbed a cask of rum
and smashed it there before their eyes. The Stinkies just went numb.

The stand-off went for hours on end ... both sides went tit-for-tat,
until at five old Poddy cried, "Time’s up! Thank God for that."
Then Poddy, who had refereed and scored the coups per side,
was asked to hand his verdict down ... his judgement would abide.

It was a rather gruelling stand both sides displayed that day,
but Poddy judged the Stinky Gang had won the drawn-out fray.
Detectives Hanlon, Donican and Kondaday's pride died
and only Stackonmire's score was truly bona fide.

Beside the creek at Stinkybark a cenotaph now stands,
reminding all of what took place between two feuding bands.
Descendants of all those concerned consider it now best,
that gruesome stand at Stinkybark should now be laid to rest.


While watching the news on television one night, an item that took my interest was the gathering of clan members, descendants of the Kellys and the police officers involved at the stand at Stringybark Creek, to unveil a memorial plaque on the infamous spot and finally allow bygones to be bygones. Aussie humour, for what it is, inspired me to portray the above incident and make light of what has been seen, up until now, a contentious part of our Aussie history.

©Merv Webster

From the Book Keeping the Culture