Cookies Do's and Don'ts

[thestoryteller]

COOKIES DO’S AND DON’TS

The young boy viewed his grandad, who was squatting, stirring stew,
reheating last night’s effort for the hungry gutted crew
and as he rode into the camp his grandad gave a yell,
“No horses in this camp my lad!” and meant it, he could tell.

“Bit toey” Gramps,” the lad replied. “What’s ailing you today?”
Though knew he’d better heed the man or he would pay some way.
“Don’t want the same occurrence lad that got me into strife,
way back when I was young and green, it near cost me my life.”

He knew the old man had a tale, so grabbed a mug of tea
and squatted on his haunches and he listened carefully.
“We’d fifteen hundred head of beef that we were herding south
and I was just a lad like you and had a real smart mouth.

“I thought I knew most everything, as young bucks mostly do,
but came to grief one morning and the cook near skinned me too.
The meanest man I ever knowed. A sourly looking bloke,
who never laughed at anything and couldn’t take a joke.

“He had a swag of do’s and don’ts and one he made real clear
was - keep your horses out of camp - to which we did adhere.
I guess I wasn’t thinking though the morn that I rode in;
just doggone tired from night watch, but my troubles then begin.

“I had in mind to have a smoke and sought some kind of light,
so rode toward the fireplace when, who should come in sight?
But lad before Cook barked a word, the coals spat out a spark
that landed on my horses rump and left a searing mark.

“All hell broke loose in that there camp and things were looking sad.
The chestnut he just went berserk and cut some capers lad.
He dropped his head and arched his back and kicked with his hind feet.
The morning’s breakfast scattered and I nearly lost my seat.

“Some boys were fleeing red hot beans and boiling water too
while others they were cheering; ‘twas all that they could do.
The cook just stood there dumbstruck, his camp was all destroyed,
and then he started screaming, “Lad you’ve joined the unemployed.”

“I’ll have your guts for garters boy, I’ll skin you son alive
and if that horse stops bucking you’ll be lucky to survive.
But cookies heart gave out just then, it couldn’t take no more
and that’s the thing that saved me. I know that lad for sure.

“So if you think I’m toey, well, you know the reason why
and though the cook was ornery he didn’t need to die.
You live and learn in this life son or lose along the way.
I hope you get my savvy boy, that’s all I’ve got to say.”


Inspired by a painting by Charlee Russell
This poem was one of eleven poems featured on Bette Duncan’s 2005 Charlie Russell Poetry Contest on the Internet
http://charlierussell.org/Mervewebstercooksswag.htm

© Merv Webster

From the book Lyrics and Bush Verse