The Old Cow

[thestoryteller]

THE OLD COW

'Twas time to boil the billy as we'd made an early start,
we'd mustered all the cows and calves, which was the easy part.
The branding kind of left me cold, as it was on the cards
their mothers might put up a fight; they didn’t like the yards.

We tried to cut the frisky calves into the holding pen,
but they were having none of it and ducked on out ag'en.
This separating cows and calves was proving kind of tough
and Jim soon made it clear to us that he’d had quite enough.

"There's got to be a better way!" roared Jim as he sat down;
his brain was now in overdrive, quite obvious by his frown.
Jim lit a smoke and rubbed his chin, on this he had to chew,
then suddenly he jumped erect, he knew just what to do.

Again he cut the calves on out, though this time Jim had planned
he'd leave an old cow with the mob to lead the little band.
Then once he'd yarded cow and calves he'd cut the old cow out.
That's got to be the way to go thought Jim without a doubt.

Jim's plan so far was looking good; they'd stuck to her like glue,
so now he'd draft the old girl off without much more ado.
He climbed the rail then jumped on down among the mob below,
but Jim soon found that this old cow she wasn't in the know.

With arms outstretched and legs apart Jim faced the nervous beast;
he reckoned he now had her bluffed, or thought that way at least.
The cow though didn't think like Jim, she planned on staying put
and locked her beady stare on him and never moved a foot.

In desperation Jim moved in to make his final push
and as he waved both arms about he gave a cry of "Hoosh."
The startled cow got such a fright she lowered her old head,
then charged at Jim and never missed, we thought that he was dead.

The old girl caught him in the ribs, which sent Jim kind of pale,
then tossed him 'cross the holding yard into an iron bark rail.
His frame sat limp upon the ground, a rather sorry sight,
while that old cow then cleared the fence, still in a state of fright.

Poor Jim then finally came 'round and as he felt so sore,
requested what had taken place and what now was the score.
We then advised what had transpired, but sensed he didn't care,
for obviously his plan had worked, the evidence was there.

By late that ave we'd wrapped it up and last job for the day
was letting all the old cows out, then feeding them some hay.
It did not take that long to do, though one old cow refused.
I guess you know which one it was and Jim was not amused.

He chased the old girl 'round and 'round and still she wouldn't go;
till Jim hit her with Poly Pipe and called her ... well you know.
The old cow saw the gate at last, but vengeance filled her mind;
she cow kicked Jim on her way past; Jim fell on his behind.

Jim met his match with that old cow and I would surely bet
he would not let the matter pass or somehow just forget.
One night, while having tea at Jim's, I noticed on the floor
the markings on a cattle hide I'd thought I'd seen before.

© Merv Webster

From the book Tales of Uncle Jim.