The Trial at Blinkandmiss

[thestoryteller]

THE TRIAL AT BLINKANDMISS

The little town of Blinkandmiss,
beyond the old Black Stump,
is what you'd call an outback town,
though some would say, a dump.

It has a small community
of some one hundred folk.
A pub, a store, a post office
and court house. That's the joke.

For in this town lived two J.P.s
who'd sit and judge and fine,
those folk who stepped beyond the law
and brought them into line.

They'd upset quite a few in town
enforcing lawful powers
and once they fined poor Sergeant Brown
for wat'ring out of hours.

Seems business had not been that brisk
until one long weekend.
There'd been a buck's night at the pub
and these blokes did attend.

They'd drunk their fill and partied on
'til late into the morn,
then figured they best get on home
or face their dear wives' scorn.

They sang their way on down the street
both wobbling at the knees,
when Sergeant Brown just chanced along
and booked the two J.P.s

Come Monday morn at five to ten
the court house overflowed
with folk who hoped to see these blokes,
cop what they thought was owed.

There was a slight dilemma though
for who would sit and judge.
No town folk had authority
and what's more, bore a grudge.

The Temp'rance leader Mrs Pain
then called out from the rear.
"Let each man judge the other man,"
which raised a mighty cheer.

So one J.P. he sat and said,
"Please state your case to me.
The Sergeant’s charge is drunkenness.
How do you plan to plea?"

His mate then stood and said "My Lord,
I have stepped out of line,
I'm guilty and I do deserve
to pay the lawful fine."

"I am obliged" his colleague said,
"to uphold this town's law.
A month of Temp'rance meetings sir,
you'll benefit I'm sure."

His mate then took the bench and said,
"Please state your case to me.
The Sergeant's charge is drunkenness.
How do you plan to plea?"

His mate then stood and said "My Lord,
I have stepped out of line,
I'm guilty and I do deserve
to pay the lawful fine."

"This sadly is the second case
and feel I should impress,
a fine which spells out loud and clear
we're done with drunkenness."

"We'll both attend the Temp'rance hall,
you'll like it I can tell
and just to show I'm adamant
you'll paint the thing as well."

© Merv Webster

The above story was based on a news story I had heard on the radio some years back. Small country towns produce many interesting characters. I know, for I have met a few, just like the two J.P.s. I guess it’s what I liked about Henry Lawson’s poems and short stories. I enjoy keeping the tradition alive.

From the book You're Joking! Milk in Billy Tea.