FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8080
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
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FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
Always up for a challenge as Shelley knows so here is my Petrarchan sonnet. Not sure if I have grasped the concept completely but any suggestions and/or criticisms are welcome.
FULL OF TEARS ... Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBarkPoet
A Petrarchan Sonnet
Today I rose wearily from my bed
the sun shone brightly in the bluest sky
seen for a while - I had let life pass by
as melancholy overtook my head.
My mind had wandered back when I was wed
so long ago, another lifetime when
I still believed in happiness back then -
it had not from my body drained and bled.
Yes I know that happiness is fleeting
that love and trust do not walk hand in hand.
Dreams don't always come with explanations
and life and time gives us all a beating,
sometimes reality is not so grand.
Love cannot prevent recriminations
5.10.21
FULL OF TEARS ... Maureen Clifford © The #ScribblyBarkPoet
A Petrarchan Sonnet
Today I rose wearily from my bed
the sun shone brightly in the bluest sky
seen for a while - I had let life pass by
as melancholy overtook my head.
My mind had wandered back when I was wed
so long ago, another lifetime when
I still believed in happiness back then -
it had not from my body drained and bled.
Yes I know that happiness is fleeting
that love and trust do not walk hand in hand.
Dreams don't always come with explanations
and life and time gives us all a beating,
sometimes reality is not so grand.
Love cannot prevent recriminations
5.10.21
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
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Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
I think you've handled that challenge very well Maureen, I liked it!
Ron
Ron
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Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
I don't think I'll bother challenging you to anything Maureen.
You have certainly responded to this one with flying colours.
Love is often full of disappointment - they say.
Certainly makes a good subject for Sonnets.
Terry
You have certainly responded to this one with flying colours.
Love is often full of disappointment - they say.
Certainly makes a good subject for Sonnets.
Terry
- Shelley Hansen
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Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
Hi Maureen
Well done, you! Challenge posed, accepted and achieved!!
Because you did ask for feedback, just one thing ... in the sestet you have disturbed your consistency a little by introducing 4 feminine rhymes in among the masculine ones that dominate the remainder of the sonnet. These days rules are less strict with this kind of thing, as you know - but probably to be strictly correct the end line rhyme should remain masculine throughout, as that is the pattern you have established at the beginning.
But well done! The Petrarchan is not an easy structure to master.
Cheers
Shelley
Well done, you! Challenge posed, accepted and achieved!!
Because you did ask for feedback, just one thing ... in the sestet you have disturbed your consistency a little by introducing 4 feminine rhymes in among the masculine ones that dominate the remainder of the sonnet. These days rules are less strict with this kind of thing, as you know - but probably to be strictly correct the end line rhyme should remain masculine throughout, as that is the pattern you have established at the beginning.
But well done! The Petrarchan is not an easy structure to master.
Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com
"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8080
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
Thanks everyone and thanks Shelley for the tip as well - I will bear that in mind and endeavour to improve.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
- Catherine Lee
- Posts: 1321
- Joined: Mon May 14, 2012 9:47 pm
- Location: Thailand
Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
Very poignant, Maureen - and I agree with everyone else here. Terry is right in that this is a good subject for sonnets, Shelley has given you excellent feedback on the rhyme pattern, and as Ron said, this is a challenge well met!
- Maureen K Clifford
- Posts: 8080
- Joined: Tue Nov 09, 2010 10:31 am
- Location: Ipswich - Paul Pisasale country and home of the Ipswich Poetry Feast
- Contact:
Re: FULL OF TEARS ... A petrarchan Sonnet
Thank you Catherine
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/
I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.