Neville Briggs wrote:WE KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE MANFRED
MUMMY!!!!!!!!
ABC FNQ Radio
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manfredvijars
Re: ABC FNQ Radio
MUMMY!!!!!!!!
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Zondrae
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Re: ABC FNQ Radio
Morning MartyB.
Aside from the lack of any punctuation whatsoever, I can't see what is wrong with the style of this poem. We all need to try the unconventional from time to time. It rhymes and has metre. (I haven't studied it for perfection, but looks close on first read). I am in a rut with my poems. They all look the same, when printed out, so I should try something like this to get the blood flowing again. Thanks for sharing.
Aside from the lack of any punctuation whatsoever, I can't see what is wrong with the style of this poem. We all need to try the unconventional from time to time. It rhymes and has metre. (I haven't studied it for perfection, but looks close on first read). I am in a rut with my poems. They all look the same, when printed out, so I should try something like this to get the blood flowing again. Thanks for sharing.
Zondrae King
a woman of words
a woman of words
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Heather
Re: ABC FNQ Radio
Marty's always in too much of a hurry to use punctuation!
Neville I just thought you looked very Rushin! And the bottle looked to be empty which is a real worry!
Heather
Neville I just thought you looked very Rushin! And the bottle looked to be empty which is a real worry!
Heather
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Neville Briggs
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Re: ABC FNQ Radio
Heather, it was just my corny attempt to niggle Manfred for giving me a ribbing about listening. It was inspired by him sending up the Russian cops in their pinkypurple snow jackets. 
Marty, I think it would be a good thing to ponder what punctuation you could use.
What I do is this; I read out loud my poem , at any point where I think I should stop, I put a full stop. At any point where I think there is needed a slight pause, I put a comma. Where I feel there is more than a slight pause; but not a full stop needed; I put in a sem-colon.
In music it's called phrasing and is vital to the mood of the piece . I am sure you manage to do it by instinct when you recite.
I don't think it is necessary to get all worried about technicalities and feel set upon by the sticklers. Punctuation just helps the reader to follow the pauses and stops etc. that you intended to be heard in the poem as it would be spoken. Remember the reader can't hear you, only read what you have written. And as old Bill the Battler will tell you ( I know he will ) the pauses are as important as the words in the sentences.
So I would urge you ; don't think of punctuation as a set of rules that oppress your free flowing spirit, think of punctuation as a few simple navigation marks in your written piece that help connect your " silent voice " to the reader.
And I think that connection at its best, helps to achieve what you so rightly pointed out is the aim of poetry, to enjoy it.
Marty, I think it would be a good thing to ponder what punctuation you could use.
What I do is this; I read out loud my poem , at any point where I think I should stop, I put a full stop. At any point where I think there is needed a slight pause, I put a comma. Where I feel there is more than a slight pause; but not a full stop needed; I put in a sem-colon.
In music it's called phrasing and is vital to the mood of the piece . I am sure you manage to do it by instinct when you recite.
I don't think it is necessary to get all worried about technicalities and feel set upon by the sticklers. Punctuation just helps the reader to follow the pauses and stops etc. that you intended to be heard in the poem as it would be spoken. Remember the reader can't hear you, only read what you have written. And as old Bill the Battler will tell you ( I know he will ) the pauses are as important as the words in the sentences.
So I would urge you ; don't think of punctuation as a set of rules that oppress your free flowing spirit, think of punctuation as a few simple navigation marks in your written piece that help connect your " silent voice " to the reader.
And I think that connection at its best, helps to achieve what you so rightly pointed out is the aim of poetry, to enjoy it.
Neville
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.
" Prose is description, poetry is presence " Les Murray.