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Ned

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:00 am
by Neddy
Eternal Night




Darkest hour, Eternal night,
Horsemen four, Flash in flight,
Clothed in steel, Prepared to fight,
For Honour and for Pride.

Nearing time, Pouring rain,
All to lose, Nought to gain,
Heart as heavy as the train,
The enemy would ride.

Hazy windows, Powders flash,
Children crying, Coppers dash,
Bullets tearing at his sash,
And hurt him deep inside,

Sympathisers lie in wait,
“Just as bad” the papers state,
Governments procrastinate,
Within their laws they hide.

Ned directs them from their keep,
Men disarming, Women weep,
A horrid night devoid of sleep,
While somewhere Ellen cried.

Brothers four fought in vain,
Suffering horrendous pain,
Good and bad lying slain,
By morning three had died.

Burning embers stall the day,
Sickened faces turn away,
He’ll take the noose that comes his way,
For Honour and for Pride.


©Neddy 23/07/11

Re: Ned

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:14 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Excellent - I really like this..the brevity of the lines works well with the story as it is told simply and starkly. The fourth line of each stanza rhyming throughout the poem is a favourite of mine - I like that AAAB through to GGGB combination (Did you get that Bob?)

Much enjoyed, thank you Neddy

Cheers

Maureen

Re: Ned

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 10:49 am
by Bob Pacey
Ah that's easy when you see it like that Mausie, :lol:

See things shown in simple terms works for simple people. :roll: :roll:

Got a couple on the go at the moment in my usual erratic style.

OOPs sorry . I liked the poem as well. Got to remember HEATHERS words " It is not all about you Bob "

Bob

Re: Ned

Posted: Sun Jul 24, 2011 11:11 am
by Dave Smith
I like that; I can feel the rain, hear horses galloping and sense the fear.
This poem suits the way I recite. Well done.

TTFN 8-)

Re: Ned

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 12:56 pm
by Neddy
Although I may be only 17, I have always been taught well.
I respect others opinions, but am polite enough to keep mine to myself.
I write as it comes, with no real goal toward any one statement or belief.
Seeing as we're opening up here, I find Ned no more a murderer than a large portion of English invaders to Aboriginal land.
Compared to a fair few of them, he had honour.

Re: Ned

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:26 pm
by Bob Pacey
Gees I must be one of the few !!! See I think the story of Ned Kelly is an important part of our history but as to him being a hero or not I really don't care. ????


Is that odd never really thought about it in that vein.

Bob

Re: Ned

Posted: Wed Jul 27, 2011 1:50 pm
by Hully
....per capita I reckon there's more criminals inside the police force than outside of it - certainly in those days, and there is still a hell of a lot of crime, including murder, that is disguised by uniform, office or religion.
If it comes down to measuring right and wrong, 'law' is a blunt instrument, easily moulded. Ned is a folk hero because he was right, not because he was lawful.

Anyway, well writ Neddy - and good on you for owning your own voice - its rarer than you think.

h

Re: Ned

Posted: Fri Aug 05, 2011 8:02 pm
by Glenny Palmer
That's bonza Neddy. I like it. A lot. (You only 17? You're a treasure.)

We must remember that Australia has a pretty unique foundation....being that of a penal colony. The subsequent rampant contempt for authority was the seed of our unique Aussie character...'the bloody larrikin.' I think I'da been a tad rebellious of the 'law keepers' if I was around in those days....& came across an abandoned letterbox. (how funny Martyboy...you bloody larrikin!)

Hey Hully!! You're onto it mate......hail 'democracy'!

Re: Ned

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:24 pm
by Rimeriter
"onya" Ned.

Only seventeen, blimey.

Good stuff.
Jim.

Re: Ned

Posted: Wed Feb 01, 2012 2:34 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
Totally agree Jim I reckoned when Neddy first posted it - it was a beaut and still think so. Great stuff