ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

My wife & I recently undertook the task of cleaning out my sister's house, where she had lived for 45 years. Not really knowing where to start, we held our first ever garage sale. The tale follows.

GARAGE SELLING FOR DUMMIES


We had a house to clear out, a mammoth task at hand
so, with some circumspection a garage sale was planned.
The starting time was 7AM, that’s what our advert said
though buyers took this to read 6 o’clock instead.

As virgin garage sellers we had a lot to learn
‘cause from these early purchasers, reward was there to earn
and profit was forthcoming, we’d tapped a vein of gold
with items we’d considered junk viewed and promptly sold.

Admittedly, there was a need with some to thrust and spar,
we felt like carpet sellers in an Istanbul bazaar,
giving sage advice to those who’d not made up their mind,
extolling all the virtues of a super bargain find.

All care, nil obligation, no warranties were offered,
this point was reflected in the moneys that some proffered
but, by and large, we held our ground, the purse began to fill,
trading was conducted with decorum and goodwill.

Whilst novices we had the sense to hold a decent float,
no trouble to give change on a fifty dollar note.
Keep the customers happy, our motto through and through,
never miss a sale, we had nought else to do.

Surprisingly, mid morning saw piece de resistance found,
the sale of an old wash stand we thought was Vinnies bound.
A seventy-five bucks windfall, the coffers overflowed,
sold without a haggle, no need for a bar code.

By this time we were flying, expenses surely topped,
the record would not show our garage sale had flopped,
to DJs and to Myer, you’d better both take stock,
read this as a warning, there’re new kids on the block.

Pleased at how the sale had gone, we wrapped up round mid day,
last buyer given a discount and sent upon his way.
The till by now was now bulging, the exercise complete,
our successful garage sale the envy of the street.

A classic case of a chore approached with trepidation
producing a result far exceeding expectation.
With such a good result in bidding chattels au revoir
we’re now open to offers in our quest to sell the car.

Jeff Thorpe 01 March 2014 ©

You'll have to add it to Bob's "buy, swap, sell" page Jeff!

Much enjoyed the jumble sale Jeff.


Hey Bob, did you sell Glenny's car for her?

Love the poem Jeff. I was and still am a sucker for a garage sale. Used to do the rounds every Saturday and come home with "priceless" bargains (much to my wife's chagrin.) Developed a strategy to save time: always check the price on the vertical grill first (in those days every sale had one.) If the grill was over priced no use staying, everything would be too dear. Just move on to the next one!

G'day Heather, Hi Vic

Thanks for your comments. The sale was a huge new experience for us. As you say Vic, many of the buyers seemed to know each other and must be garage sale "junkies" (pardon the pun).

Cheers, Jeff

There is a whole community of garage salers in every area and for some it is their social event of the week.

Lots of fun Jeff. Was there much left for the tip? When I was a young'un that's where today's garage sale items turned up and left again post haste.
Wazza

G'day Wazza

We had a skip bin in the front yard for the real junk. At times during the morning it created more interest than the sale. Amazing the number of bower birds around.

Regards, Jeff