Flat Packs
Posted: Tue Nov 11, 2014 12:53 pm
Flat Packs
It’d tear the fork out of your nightie.
All the hassles it’s putting me through.
I’m damned if I’ll ever do this again.
Now what do I do with this screw
I counted the pieces and spread them all out;
the fronts and the sides and the top.
Then tore open all of the plastic bags;
geez my own little hardware shop.
Piece A that’s the one with the hole at the front.
And B’s got a dowel sticking out.
Those pieces are meant to join up for sure.
Can’t possibly be any doubt.
This piece looks like it goes to the front.
Then again maybe it’s at the back.
They’re bloody identical. How would you know?
Wish I’d never emptied the pack.
Then out comes my wife. “Having trouble?” she asks
with superior look on her dial.
“Not really”, I say “just biding my time,
mulling over some things for awhile.
“Well mull away darling. I’ll leave you alone.
Won’t be far. If you need me just yell.”
And with that she was off to who would know where,
leaving me to my own little hell.
With her last words echoing around in my mind
like a song that you just can’t forget
I took a deep breath and yelled “Up there Cazaly!”
I’ll finish this #%&@%*%# yet.
And I did get it finished … well sort of.
Looked okay if you held your mouth right.
And the bits I had left … well I hid them.
In the fire place - and didn’t they burn bright.
Wazza
It’d tear the fork out of your nightie.
All the hassles it’s putting me through.
I’m damned if I’ll ever do this again.
Now what do I do with this screw
I counted the pieces and spread them all out;
the fronts and the sides and the top.
Then tore open all of the plastic bags;
geez my own little hardware shop.
Piece A that’s the one with the hole at the front.
And B’s got a dowel sticking out.
Those pieces are meant to join up for sure.
Can’t possibly be any doubt.
This piece looks like it goes to the front.
Then again maybe it’s at the back.
They’re bloody identical. How would you know?
Wish I’d never emptied the pack.
Then out comes my wife. “Having trouble?” she asks
with superior look on her dial.
“Not really”, I say “just biding my time,
mulling over some things for awhile.
“Well mull away darling. I’ll leave you alone.
Won’t be far. If you need me just yell.”
And with that she was off to who would know where,
leaving me to my own little hell.
With her last words echoing around in my mind
like a song that you just can’t forget
I took a deep breath and yelled “Up there Cazaly!”
I’ll finish this #%&@%*%# yet.
And I did get it finished … well sort of.
Looked okay if you held your mouth right.
And the bits I had left … well I hid them.
In the fire place - and didn’t they burn bright.
Wazza
