The Rhyming Lesson
Posted: Mon Mar 02, 2015 3:37 pm
My intention was to write a poem for children, but it didn't quite work. Missed by that much.
What words rhyme with sunny?
It’s your homework for tonight.
Bring your lists tomorrow
and we’ll count the number right.
Next day we had to take our lists
and read them to the class.
When Billy finished reading his
the teacher’s off his a…
Billy’s list had just one word.
That single word was dunny.
“You think you’re smart boy?” teacher asked.
“Well I don’t think it’s funny.”
“Dunny, throne, or thunder box,
they’re not words you should use.
And crapper, bog, the john, the head,
are words I won’t excuse.
You don’t say make a doo doo,
or ride the porcelain bus.
And please don’t say “You’re curling one off.
Such phrases I’ll not discuss.”
I don’t want to hear that you’ve pinched off a loaf,
or tossed an internal cigar.
And releasing a hostage … disgusting,
as are butt trumpets in your dad’s car.
So children I really expect you to use
a language polite and gentle.
Because if you don’t, I promise you
my back draft will send you all mental.
What words rhyme with sunny?
It’s your homework for tonight.
Bring your lists tomorrow
and we’ll count the number right.
Next day we had to take our lists
and read them to the class.
When Billy finished reading his
the teacher’s off his a…
Billy’s list had just one word.
That single word was dunny.
“You think you’re smart boy?” teacher asked.
“Well I don’t think it’s funny.”
“Dunny, throne, or thunder box,
they’re not words you should use.
And crapper, bog, the john, the head,
are words I won’t excuse.
You don’t say make a doo doo,
or ride the porcelain bus.
And please don’t say “You’re curling one off.
Such phrases I’ll not discuss.”
I don’t want to hear that you’ve pinched off a loaf,
or tossed an internal cigar.
And releasing a hostage … disgusting,
as are butt trumpets in your dad’s car.
So children I really expect you to use
a language polite and gentle.
Because if you don’t, I promise you
my back draft will send you all mental.
