Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Glenny Palmer » Tue Feb 26, 2013 7:45 am

Hey Maureen and Peely
I realise that this section is devoted to helping us all to improve our writings. To that end, I shall try to address the issues you have raised.
Firstly, I think it is important to understand that good poetry writing requires very much more than grammar and punctuation. Of course, both are indeed important, but I would urge extreme caution that through the obsessional pursuit of ‘grammatical excellence’, one does not lose the very essence of the poet’s nature; the poet’s lyricism eg………

Some good time ago I caught myself ‘critiquing’ verses on greeting cards. :? I was shocked when I finally realised that in so doing, I was losing the very essence of the cards’ purpose…that I was contaminating the purity of poetically conveyed, loving support, not only for myself, but for the kindly card giver. It was a lesson well learnt; personally, and poetically.

(Hopefully, this little expose of mine may go some way towards urging ‘judges’ to stay very mindful of just what they are judging….ie. poetry…poets…and not high school English teachers.)

Goodo……does this help?

The iron lace holds… rusting… to the fence around the grave,
the headstone leans… forlorn… in vain despair,

(call it ‘poetic licence’ if you will. For me, it was an exercise in not cluttering with over-punctuation.) I am a poet. My poems may be littered with ‘inversions’ etc. As a poet I am trying to say something in a different, more lyrically pleasing way…more especially, to say something without saying it…there-in lies the poet’s true skill, in my firm opinion.

‘‘I have never heard any speaker, Australian or otherwise (where English is the main language used), say the word 'familiar' as four syllables.’’

Well Peely my lad, I obviously must have departed from my native speech when communicating with you….because…it has been identified by ‘sources’ (that I am inclined to trust way beyond some highly contradictory ‘dictionaries’) that I actually speak in meter, for a good percentage of the time. If you ever do attend one of my guest speaking engagements, and listen, you will hear me pronounce the true syllabic content of words….Aus tral i an. Fa mil i ar. Sol it ar y. If I happen to write them with ‘trimmed’ syllables, it would be a conscious choice in order to maintain meter…but I should not be terribly happy with myself for doing so. Having said that, when I am judging I do make allowances for this usage, given the predominance of it in our vernacular.

I do hope this discussion assists emerging writers. It is always my aim to assist other poets, given the dedicated help I received from highly professional writers, when I was a ‘newbie.’ Good luck to you all.

Cheeers
Glenny
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Feb 26, 2013 9:23 am

I knew you'd have the answer and totally agree with your comment
through the obsessional pursuit of ‘grammatical excellence’, one does not lose the very essence of the poet’s nature; the poet’s lyricis
m

Inversion was the word I couldn't think of :oops: - and so I am relieved to hear that you don't think it a mortal sin ;) So going to read your lovely words yet again mindful of your always good advice.

Cheers

Maureen
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Glenny Palmer » Tue Feb 26, 2013 10:58 am

Ta for your kind words Maureen. But I don't let myself off entirely here....as I said before it was a quite 'early' attempt, & some of what you & Peely have noted is probably quite apt, as the poem never did pick up any awards. (I just thought of posting it after seeing the graveside poems)

What I will stick to though, is the syllable count in the King's English. 'Inversion' & 'fragmentation' can be the achilles heel of prose writers...to my mind they can be the poet's best friend....so there you go. We must stay ever mindful of the value that lyrical content underpins in the poet's endeavours...IMO.........(good homework topic. Plenty here for cogitation.)..... :D

I've gotta fly. One hungry reptile is stalking for lunch....and...I've got a daughter in dire need of a rental home in Centenary somewhere, for her ever expanding family. Any leads there?....pleeese?
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Peely
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Peely » Tue Feb 26, 2013 2:59 pm

The evolution of language can be an interesting thing, how some adjective forms of a word have become acceptable as the adverb form as well. A couple of the ones that come straight to mind are 'quick' and 'slow' - the definitions of both show them as acceptable adverbs in current language (Macquarie Dictionary) as opposed to the older, more correct forms, 'quickly' and 'slowly'. Perhaps over time, this could be the case for a word like 'forlorn' as well. Time will tell.
John Peel - The Man from Gilmore Creek

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Tue Feb 26, 2013 3:43 pm

Quickly and slowly were too hard to dance to :lol:

Give me the quick quick slow
Get there before you go
Climbing upon my toes
Gives me the vertigo
No more fandango
Give me a tango
So much simpático
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
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I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

william williams

Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by william williams » Tue Feb 26, 2013 4:41 pm

Quote:
The iron lace holds rusting to the fence around the grave,
Glenny to my way of writing I would have written

The iron lace holds rusted to the fence around the grave

please correct me if what I have written is wrong Bill the old battler

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Glenny Palmer
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Glenny Palmer » Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:36 pm

Helloo Bill,
That is certainly one very viable way of presenting it, old mate. Thanks for that. I'm sorry I'm late in replying...time can just suddenly disappear around here with things the way they are. I hope you are going goodo...& keeping on with your writing.
Cheeers
Glenny
The purpose of my life is to serve as a warning to others.

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Irene
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Re: Homework 04-03-13 'Whisperings'

Post by Irene » Mon Mar 11, 2013 4:57 am

Just my preference:
I like
The iron lace holds rusting to the fence around the grave
as it gives me a sense of the iron lace still in the process of rusting - not already rusted and static.

Catchya
Irene
What goes around, comes around.

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