Homework W/E 15/02/16: a mother weeps

[David Campbell]

Thanks, Neil. You've certainly shed light on what Maureen's American poet was probably referring to. It also highlights what we've discussed before, namely the limited range of notation for tempo and rests in written poetry compared to music.

Cheers
David

[Wendy Seddon]

I loved music at school. My favourite part was score reading. I loved discovering the way the composer put feeling into the score through various symbols and notations which was how he got the performer to accurately interpret his idea.
David, I read your poem like that. I think I must be reading it as you intended it to be read because of the way you have structured it....plus it's a lovely, moving poem.

[Catherine Lee]

I hadn't thought about this in such detail before but your reply to Maureen is very interesting David and I have to agree. I also second Wendy's comment as I'm sure I read this wonderful poem just as you intended largely due to the extremely clever way you have structured it while keeping the rhyme. So this poem is impressive in more ways than one - both innovative and powerful.

[David Campbell]

Thank you, Wendy and Catherine. I've been tempted to enter something like this in a bush poetry competition, but suspect it would be a waste of the entry fee. The ABPA assessment sheet, for example, talks about bush poetry as verse in "traditional rhymed form, with regular rhythm". Although this poem has both rhyme and rhythm, the form of the first is hardly traditional and the second is certainly not regular. But, given your comments about the reading, it'd be interesting to see how it fared as a performance piece.

Cheers
David

[mummsie]

Beautiful David. I have read this a few times now, allowing the poignancy to penetrate through the pauses. I think it makes a beautiful recitation piece.

Sue

[Shelley Hansen]

I agree with all comments - beautifully written, David. It is both confronting and poignant at once.

Like Sue, I believe it would work well in performance where a reciter could structure the rhythm and pauses to allow both flow and interrupted rhythm, in keeping with the subject. Whether a bush poetry performance judge would favour it is debatable - I guess it depends on the judge.

I agree with you that in a written bush competition it would probably suffer in comparison to traditional structures - however the perameters (and perimeters!) continue to widen, so in a few years, who knows? In an open written competition it would surely be a front-runner.

Cheers, Shelley

[David Campbell]

Thank you, Sue and Shelley. I appreciate those thoughts on the recitation aspect. It's all very well for me to have something in mind while using a format that's a bit different, but to know others have been able to find a meaningful interpretation makes it really worthwhile.

Cheers
David