Homework week ending 12/12/11 (Marty Boyce)

[Maureen K Clifford]

seems we are kindred spirits Marty Mum and I are just off to check on a pub...told my mob we are all meeting here on the 11th..come or not up to them but that is it...not doing all that pseudo kissy kissy stuff this year, can't stand the hassles and trying to keep the peace and suit everyone and you never can. One niece not talking to another -one sister in law who has become a thorn in the side, a miserable brother, cousins (littlies) that don't even know their cousins who live 15 minutes away. Dysfunction reigns supreme. Not having it

Personally I don't like Christmas - or not the Christmas that is perceived as Christmas these days. I am spending Christmas with the girls.... and we will all be very happy with our little celebration, kisses and cuddles, because they will be given with genuine affection and love.

Maureen K Clifford - the snakey one, so it seems after all

[Neville Briggs]

Marty, since this is a workshop and we are invited to make constructive comments, just a few points for what they are worth.

Proper names e.g. Christmas , Bob, are usually capitalised.
The first words of each stanza are usually capitalised, though I suppose that isn't necessarily required.
Each line of the stanzas has four accents, but the last line of stanzas 2, 6 have five accents. The first line of stanza 3 sounds to me like 3 accents all the other first lines have 4 accents. . Just an opinion, I thought maybe you could consider whether that arrangement makes the overall rhythm of the verse to be a bit out of sync.

I thought it was a pretty good verse. better not make it the after Christmas dinner entertainment for the mob, you might end up in the river instead of by the river.