ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

I'll kick it off myself this week


Only in my dreams

She liked the windows open, but he much preferred them closed
and cigarette smoke in her home made her feel indisposed
but he said it was his home now, so too bad. He would smoke
whenever and where he wanted – he was not her type of bloke.

She had three cats and two dogs, which he called mongrel curs
guaranteed to inflame passion for they were all loved by her.
She caught him tossing Tommy from the table to the floor
and took umbrage and yelled at him ‘what the hell d’ya do that for?’

There were many altercations – whiskery stubble in the sink
and the refuse bins each Monday full of bottles from his drink.
He disliked the scent of hairspray in the bathroom where it lingered,
she disliked the smell of other odours, and he was light fingered.

Her fortnightly indulgence was King Island Camembert
with a good port and some crackers eaten in her TV chair,
but she noticed that the port was disappearing at a pace
far beyond evaporation. He was often off his face.

And to think that she had claimed one time just how good her life was.
Hardly affluent but managing, content with cats and dogs,
and her garden, friends and neighbours and a family who cared.
All was well until the Government insisted her home be shared.

Now her life had changed from happy to the abject depths of hell
and she dreamt at night of poison, murdering a ne’er do well.
Two cats had left one dog was stressed, the other demonized.
Divorce was not an option – now she just felt terrorized.

The rising tide of worry tried to drown her every day,
the family house no longer home, she could not move away
for her four legged companions weren’t allowed in one room flats
and she wouldn’t leave her babies so that put an end to that.

And she fretted, fussed and fantasised, her life in a uproar,
till the sound of kookaburras calling woke her up one more,
and she realized a nightmare she had lived through in the night.
She owned her house, would share with none. At once her day was bright.


Maureen Clifford © 07/12

Very very good I reckon Maureen. One of your very best.

I think it is so good because you have used plain ordinary speech all through, it looks to be that you have done a great job of not just putting in words because they rhyme or make the metre, it reads very clearly and to the point. I can't see any weak sentences, all good and strong.

Sorry just a couple of points. Stanza 1 line three. typo his home too. Then you will have two toos near each other . I wouldn't hold that to be wrong but something to consider ,whether it is the best result.
Stanza seven I wonder of fraught is the best word, what do you think.?

First line of the last stanza, do you think there is a better and stronger word than furore. Just a thought.

Excellent result, Maureen, you've been doing a bit of study ???

And of course there's the content, a very close observation of domestic "dysfunction" I think. I think that you have depicted the detail of relational unhappiness in an authentic way.

Thank you Neville - your suggestions noted and acted on

The only study I did of this was when I put the prompts up I thought how it would be to be caught up in this scenario when you were older and defenceless. I guess this would just be how I would feel and would fight tooth and nail against the change. For the younger ones the change would not be so horrendous because they are more easily able to adapt, but to the elderly and those with a disability the familiarity of neighbours and friends and location and ease of access to shops, transport, hospitals etc is so important. They are not as upwardly mobile any more as the younger ones

I personally think it disgustingly cruel for the Govt to even suggest such a plan when there are so many vacant public houses going to rack and ruin around the country with no tenants in them. Saw on TV only a couple of nights ago where perfectly nice double story townhouses less than 10 years old were to bulldozed because they had been let sit vacant for so long that vandals had completely trashed them right down to pulling the copper plumbing out of the walls. So how does something like get to happen - weren't there homeless/low income families looking for places 4 years ago? Of course there were and the Govt of the time came up with some cock and bull story as to why these places weren't available then. I have two friends around my age both fairly recently widowed who I suspect will have pressure put on them because they live in very modest little 3 bedroom homes where they have been for well over 20 years, and a friend who lives in a block of units right atop the Kangaroo Point Cliffs with lovely river views - and all of a sudden with prices there skyrocketing and this becoming a yuppie part of Brisbane there are concerns the units are to be sold and the tenants relocated. When she moved in there it was a rather not so nice place to live and great concerns were held for a single lady actually being located there.

I totally understand the financial reasoning behind all this - they say they can build many more for what they will get for these out in the 'burbs' somewhere - but the whole concept is about messing with peoples lives not just playing with the $$$$$ - especially when as previously mentioned many $$$$ have already been wasted by allowing public housing to sit vacant for years and now trashed to an extent where putting it through the mash is the cheaper option.

SHAME ON OUR GOVERNMENT

Looks good Maureen, very good revision choices I reckon.

It's the same story everywhere. Stockton, near Newcastle, was undesirable even though it was on the beachfront, it was near the steel works and public housing tenants could live by the seaside. The steel works have gone and guess what, we can't have public housing there anymore, buzz off the low income people to somewhere else so the " developers' can have the beachfront for better things.

I think the apostle Paul had it right when he said that the love of money is a basis for all kinds of evil.