Homework WE 22/9/14 (Shelley) - The Man Who Got the Possum
Posted: Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:00 pm
A while ago a work colleague of mine (nicknamed "Macca") told the tale of his nocturnal encounter with a possum on his roof. I have already written this story into a poem - but for this homework I thought it would be fun to give it a makeover in the style of The Man From Snowy River (with sincere apologies to the great Banjo!)
THE MAN WHO GOT THE POSSUM
There was movement at “McCastle” in the middle of the night
(when honest country folk would be asleep)
with a scurry and a scamper down the chimney – then two bright
and beady eyes looked out with cheeky peep!
Many tried and noted heroes would have quickly come unstuck –
but Macca faced the test with unconcern!
He just marshalled up the wife – for he was full of game and pluck
and gave his orders – definite and firm!
“Now then Missus – you must wheel it, try to wheel it to the right.
Stand boldly, girl, and never fear its teeth!”
But it all was unavailing, as the possum in its fright
aimed for her legs, and scurried through beneath!
Then from room to room it scampered as it tried to get away.
It took the kitchen benches in its stride.
And the Missus muttered fiercely, “We may bid this poss good-day!
We’re beaten if it finds somewhere to hide!”
But they caught it in the bathroom, where two open cupboards met –
and trapped it … so a photograph reveals
in a fluffy towel – wrapped up – a little face, defiant yet –
about to see how “relocation” feels!
But that possum had a brother, and the middle of the night
again saw Macca perching on a rail
so precariously balanced, hanging on with all his might
to awning roof … and to a possum’s tail!
He sent the possum flying, but it landed on its feet;
It cleared the garden bed and crossed the lawn,
which awoke the neighbour’s labrador, who, barking up a treat,
roused half the district – long before the dawn!
But the next night it returned, and did a tango like a goat
above the bedroom, loud and fancy free!
Macca rustled up a cat trap as he muttered (and I quote),
“I’ll teach the blighter! He won’t laugh at me!”
At 3 a.m. a sudden clang proclaimed the possum’s doom,
and Macca, more enthused than he was wise –
started out to climb the ladder in the drizzle and the gloom
and crept across the roof to claim his prize.
But the ladder rungs were greasy, and he couldn’t keep his feet -
descending with a clatter in his haste -
and Macca/ladder/possum made a tangle quite complete!
Another Kodak Moment gone to waste!
Then The Man Who Got The Possum let the Holden have its head –
He drove for forty miles along the track;
Now that sprightly possum’s dancing on another roof instead –
so far away – it’s never coming back!
Though the peaceful night was shattered by the trap and ladder fall
and revving up the engine for a run,
Macca found to his disgust the Missus slept on through it all
and never heard a thing till morning sun!
And down there in the Suburbs, where “McCastle” windows raise
their faces to the power lines on high,
where the swamp frogs sing in chorus, and the torches fairly blaze
at midnight, as the carpet snakes glide by …
And where the kookaburras seem to chuckle and display
amusement at the wonder of it all –
The Man Who Got the Possum is a household word today –
and neighbours wonder what next will befall!
© Shelley Hansen 2014
THE MAN WHO GOT THE POSSUM
There was movement at “McCastle” in the middle of the night
(when honest country folk would be asleep)
with a scurry and a scamper down the chimney – then two bright
and beady eyes looked out with cheeky peep!
Many tried and noted heroes would have quickly come unstuck –
but Macca faced the test with unconcern!
He just marshalled up the wife – for he was full of game and pluck
and gave his orders – definite and firm!
“Now then Missus – you must wheel it, try to wheel it to the right.
Stand boldly, girl, and never fear its teeth!”
But it all was unavailing, as the possum in its fright
aimed for her legs, and scurried through beneath!
Then from room to room it scampered as it tried to get away.
It took the kitchen benches in its stride.
And the Missus muttered fiercely, “We may bid this poss good-day!
We’re beaten if it finds somewhere to hide!”
But they caught it in the bathroom, where two open cupboards met –
and trapped it … so a photograph reveals
in a fluffy towel – wrapped up – a little face, defiant yet –
about to see how “relocation” feels!
But that possum had a brother, and the middle of the night
again saw Macca perching on a rail
so precariously balanced, hanging on with all his might
to awning roof … and to a possum’s tail!
He sent the possum flying, but it landed on its feet;
It cleared the garden bed and crossed the lawn,
which awoke the neighbour’s labrador, who, barking up a treat,
roused half the district – long before the dawn!
But the next night it returned, and did a tango like a goat
above the bedroom, loud and fancy free!
Macca rustled up a cat trap as he muttered (and I quote),
“I’ll teach the blighter! He won’t laugh at me!”
At 3 a.m. a sudden clang proclaimed the possum’s doom,
and Macca, more enthused than he was wise –
started out to climb the ladder in the drizzle and the gloom
and crept across the roof to claim his prize.
But the ladder rungs were greasy, and he couldn’t keep his feet -
descending with a clatter in his haste -
and Macca/ladder/possum made a tangle quite complete!
Another Kodak Moment gone to waste!
Then The Man Who Got The Possum let the Holden have its head –
He drove for forty miles along the track;
Now that sprightly possum’s dancing on another roof instead –
so far away – it’s never coming back!
Though the peaceful night was shattered by the trap and ladder fall
and revving up the engine for a run,
Macca found to his disgust the Missus slept on through it all
and never heard a thing till morning sun!
And down there in the Suburbs, where “McCastle” windows raise
their faces to the power lines on high,
where the swamp frogs sing in chorus, and the torches fairly blaze
at midnight, as the carpet snakes glide by …
And where the kookaburras seem to chuckle and display
amusement at the wonder of it all –
The Man Who Got the Possum is a household word today –
and neighbours wonder what next will befall!
© Shelley Hansen 2014