ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

I sometimes listen to Dr Karl on the radio and often callers will mention something they read on the Internet and his standard response is always "You may as well go and ask the drunk bloke in the pub".


The Drunk Bloke Down the Pub
M. Pattie

It seems these days whenever wise sagacity is sought,
the World Wide Web’s the one-stop-shop where answers can be caught.
But stacks more entertaining, and reliably on par
is a source of information found in every public bar.

So if ya head’s stuck in the clouds; you’ve got a slow connection,
then flick the mouse, and leave the house for amber retrospection.
Cos when I’m wanting answers after months out in the scrub,
Dotcom is good, but me – I ask the drunk bloke down the pub.

Coz after 16 schooners Bertie’s knowledge base is grand;
there’s very little that the old bloke fails to understand.
“I need to move a Redback that resides beside the loo?”
It’s easy – just jump on web like anyone would do.

“Whilst fishin’ reeled a barra in, me gaff hook I forgot.”
That’s easy bloke, just use the net, the only choice ya got.
The wisdom of this piss-head was decidedly profound,
cos who needs Google when the likes of Boozy Bert’s around.

“A cane train locomotive, Bert – went missing, still not found?”
You’re bound to find a search engine, just have a browse around.
I bought a beer for Bert “how do ya do the things ya do?”
Perched on his stool, through drunken drool he slurred @ me “Yahoooo!”

Loved it Marty. I've met a few of those know-all blokes in my time working in a pub. I don't miss them.

Heather

Very good Marty - well done - a great read and good use of the prompts. Love that last line

Only one sagacious drunk in your pub??

Loved it Marty,
Yep met many bloke who subscribed to the theory that each beer was equivalent to adding another volume of Brittanica to the memory bank!
'onya mate

Ron

Good one Marty - certainly gave me a giggle
Cheers, Shelley.

Thanks Shelley . . ay Ron, I thought we'd met before .

Nev, my pub has serious drunks who'll say things like "I didn't fall over, I attacked the floor backwards".
Thanks Maureen and Heather.

I think Dr Karl has a point though. I've found it before when looking up things on the internet, where the same misinformation is repeatedly found, obviously cut and pasted word for word from the original incorrect source.

Marty