ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Homeward Bound

The artic sun was glaring down upon my beaten brow
but the cutting wind still brought a sudden chill.
The River like a frozen tongue stretched out across the plains
the trek home would test our courage and our skill.

For months we'd tramped this barren land in a frantic search for gold
now time dictates the need has come to leave.
For the frozen winds of Winter were sweeping o'er the land
there was nothing more that we could now achieve.

The packs and sleds were loaded in the dark the night before
a blue frost had formed on every metal rail.
The dogs howled in their vests that protected weather bitten flesh
and we set out to leave the camp at Iron Nail.

Bob Pacey (C)

There's gold in them there lines Bob - nicely done and a great use of the prompts as well. This is a bit different from what you usually write - I like it.

WHAT ! different from my normal crap ?


Bob

No - you don't write crap - this is softer, more intense and meaningful. I like it but just so you don't think I'm going soft this line jarred a bit with me

The dogs howled in their harnesses that protected bitten flesh

presuming you mean the cold/ice had caused chafing on the dogs skin causing them to howl (in pain) when harnessed up again I would perhaps use something like -

the dogs howled when the harness irritated chafed sore flesh

I did not like it either but wanted to use all the prompts and could not think of what to call those coats that they put on them ?


Bob

Fair enough

I like your poem, Bob. Especially the simile of the river like a frozen tongue - good word picture!!

Cheers, Shelley

Thanks Shelly and Maureen I think


Bob

I like it as well Bob - some very clever use of the prompts as well.

Terry