ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

DODGY DAN
(c) Shelley Hansen 7/10/15

You’ve heard of the tale of the poor city bloke
who fell foul of old Dodgy Dan -
the crookedest trader in Mulligan’s Creek,
the servo and car garage man.
The bloke drove a brand spanking new SUV,
but when to his utter dismay
he sensed that a rattle had grown to a growl,
he drove into town straight away.
Said Dan, “I’d be happy to give a reprieve
to you mate. In fact, you’re in luck.
I’ve got a fresh shipment of stock coming in -
I’m just on me way in me truck
to pick ‘em up." "Well," said the bloke, "are you sure
they’re genuine parts, through and through?
My warranty won’t stand for counterfeit bits."
Said Dodgy, "No risk mate! True blue!
Besides, I’m the only garage man out here -
the next one’s out past Mitchell’s Bore.
If you have a breakdown on that cattle track
you’ll sing for your supper, for sure!"
If you know old Dodgy, you’ll know that this tale
was certain to end up in tears.
The city man left with a gusto for life
to find that the worst of his fears
came rushing to haunt him when halfway to home.
He realised somewhat too late
the cow of a thing had turned dog on him there
and konked out by Black Station Gate.
The Road Assist man shook a sad and wise head -
he’d seen this so often before.
He said, "Son I’ll give you a piece of advice -
it’s Buyer Beware, and what’s more ...
you’ve heard people say all humanity is
corruptible, to the last man?
I reckon the people who wrote that quote down
were writing about Dodgy Dan!

A rollicking tale, Shelley, and I reckon we've all met Dodgy Dan somewhere along the track...several times!

Cheers
David

Thanks David! I actually built the story from the line "the cow of a thing turned dog on him". I remember a German friend of ours saying that many years ago when he first came to Australia an old bushie was telling him about a vehicle breakdown and this was the line he used. Our friend was totally bewildered for years about the intrusions of dogs and cows into the old ute!!

By the way, you'll have noticed that I too struggled with the metre of the "all humanity is corruptible" prompt! I managed to fit it in, but not quite correctly, as I've got the stress on "is", which is really not the best. But Maureen continues to challenge us , so we have to do the best we can!!

Don't stop, Maureen ... it's great brain exercise!!

Cheers
Shelley

Good on you Shelley your Dodgy Dan sounds like an old neighbour of ours out on the property who had the nickname Hydraulic Jack because he would lift (steal) anything. There are some real outack characters that just beg to have poems written about them. I like the story you managed to weave with the prompts. Well done.

MMMMM got me thinking about nicknames now


Singlet ------ always on ya back

Opium ------- a slow working dope

The Tiler------ cause he would lay anything


might work on this to windy to go fishing


Bob