ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

Just another day at the beach.

I was at the beach the other day
I always said I would come back.
The sun and surf slip, slop and slap
the sunburn on my c...k.

I always wear tight fitting gear
budgie smugglers mate they rules.
no baggie surf board shorts for me
I likes showing off me jewels.

I spied this pretty sheila
in a yellow polka dot bikini
pieces were hanging everywhere
cause it was really tini.

Mc Tavish surfboard on her arm
she really looked a treat.
The wind it whistled through her hair
purple thongs upon her feet.

I thought I really have to meet her
before my ardour quickly dies .
but the sand blew onto my bloody towel
and went straight into my eyes.

I staggered round in disarray
I must have looked just like a clown.
People looked at me like I was queer.
as I squirmed there on the ground.

That pretty shiela ran like hell
and left me lying there.
I had sand all through me flaming hair
and no one seemed to care.

Ah well I thought that's how it goes
sometimes my life just flips.
I'll remember well that sunny spot
where the seagulls pinched my fish and chips.

Robert Alan Michael Pacey Esq IAWP (c)

well that c...ked me up as well - you only remember the food aspect? Really? Seems your beach outings are fraught with difficulty. Hope your fishing expeditions are better.

Yellow polka dot bikini AND purple thongs, Bob? No wonder you were "bowled over", so to speak!!!

A good yarn, as usual!!

Cheers, Shelley

There's always another day Bob.

I'm a bit lost here, Bob. Given that "c..k" has to rhyme with "back" I can only assume that "cack" is an obscure physiological reference that polite Queenslanders don't like to see in printed form. As in "He went off half-cacked!" Or perhaps it has something to do with "cacking" a pistol? Whatever the case, I enjoyed the poem, particularly the image of you on the beach in your budgie smugglers and pearls!

Cheers
David

you missed a dot David c...k

And one dot in this situation can make all the difference Hey Maureen

....and then he woke up.

Hmmm...an extra dot? So in Queensland it's possible to get burnt where the sun doesn't shine? Glad I live in Victoria!

Cheers
David

Oooh, how painful! but wouldn't you need to be head in the sand, legs in the air and c...k blowing in the wind to get burnt? The mind boggles.