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Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Thu May 12, 2016 10:24 pm
by Shelley Hansen
This is an intriguing set of prompts, Maureen. Thanks to David's free verse, I also began to think about the relentless march of time, albeit from a slightly different perspective. And, in keeping with our recent discussions on broadening our horizons to different poetry forms, I thought I'd try my hand at a Petrarchan sonnet.

TIME
(c) Shelley Hansen 12/5/16

We cannot capture time. The marching clock
precipitates like rain within my heart.
The world is turning … turning … from the start
accompanied by each relentless tock.
We seek to cause diversions, taking stock
of time out of control, of days that dart
beyond the reach of poetry and art
like naughty elves that skip away and mock.
It’s hard to reason with the singing spheres
whose perfect rhyme and rhythm cannot wait
for mortal man to regulate his pace.
And so we close our eyes, and learn too late
to open up the heart and to embrace
the love that’s sleeping there - embalmed in tears.

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 8:57 am
by Maureen K Clifford
Well done on all counts Shelley - I seem to recall covering Petrarchan Sonnets way back - a sonnet (14 lines) consisting of an octave with the rhyme scheme abbaabba and of a sestet with one of several rhyme schemes.

You made great use of the prompts in this poem and I loved this line which added a touch of whimsy to the work
like naughty elves that skip away and mock.

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 9:06 am
by Shelley Hansen
Thank you Maureen! Yes, whimsy was my objective, so I'm glad it worked. We've just been having an interesting discussion in another thread about free verse and the fact that it often contains more verbal imagery than bush poetry (or rhyming poetry in general) does. So I was consciously striving for some imagery!

I love sonnets - but can't decide whether I prefer the Petrarchan or the Shakespearean (which has the different rhyme scheme). I guess it probably depends upon the subject being addressed.

So many different poetry forms to love :D

Cheers
Shelley

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 11:16 am
by David Campbell
We're clearly on the same wavelength with these prompts, Shelley. I'm not usually a huge fan of sonnets, but this is beautifully done. That use of "singing spheres" is interesting. To me the term goes back to Pythagoras and his strange mathematical/musical theories about the movement of the planets...definitely whimsical!

Cheers
David

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 2:49 pm
by Neville Briggs
Good on ya Shelley, :) you've got the creativity flowing. Today the villanelles and sonnets, tomorrow....who knows ?? :lol:

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 5:53 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Especially for you, Neville! ;)

Thanks David - yes, the harmonious movement of the physical universe was also my interpretation of the "singing spheres" (though I didn't specifically think of Pythagoras). I actually remember the expression from something I read as a child, talking about being lifted to the "singing spheres" by the touch of a loving hand, and sailing among the stars.

I appreciate your commendation of my sonnet. They are hard to write. I wanted to write a sonnet from when I was about 15 years old and discovered Shakespeare's - and I tried many times. But it was not until I was in my mid-forties that I actually achieved something I thought was worth keeping. Such a short poetry genre, but so constrained in its format. I find it very hard to make a sonnet sound as though it has "flowed out" of my creativity.

Thanks to Maureen and her prompts, I'm reasonably pleased with this one. I think sonnets lend themselves to a bit of whimsy.

Cheers
Shelley

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Fri May 13, 2016 10:42 pm
by Terry
Hi Shelley
That's very, very cleverly done.
I'm no judge on these, but if I were this would receive top marks.

Cheers

Terry

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Sat May 14, 2016 11:05 am
by alongtimegone
You are all too clever for me. love the language Shelley.
Wazza

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Sat May 14, 2016 6:00 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Thanks Terry and Wazza

Definitely not "too clever" Wazza - you're no slouch yourself in the poetry department! :D

Terry - can we arrange for you to be my next judge??? ;)

Cheers
Shelley

Re: Homework WE 23/5/16 - Time

Posted: Mon May 16, 2016 1:02 am
by Catherine Lee
Truly delightful sonnet Shelley - I really like this as there are so many lovely lines here - The marching clock precipitates like rain within my heart....like naughty elves that skip away and mock....It’s hard to reason with the singing spheres..the love that’s sleeping there - embalmed in tears.

Really well done!