Re: Homework week ended some time in April - the River Man
Posted: Mon Mar 28, 2011 10:16 am
Razor blades for breakfast again Marty???? Sharp, sharp and quick off the mark.
I just love the way that you wrote this
you are a master of your craft
of poetry writing and rhyming
and this I suspect the first draft.
One could be forgiven if by reading
one assumes rivers are not your forte
for no river man of any repute
would ever loose a raft - ‘twould be naughty.
But it seems you’ve been breasting the bar
and mixing your drinks just a tad
a rum with a fresh Carlton chaser
will raddle your brains Marty lad.
Your continued use of repetition
works somewhat well overall,
but suspect an alcoholic rendition
to music perhaps more would enthral.
I just love the way that you wrote this
you are a master of your craft
of poetry writing and rhyming
and this I suspect the first draft.
One could be forgiven if by reading
one assumes rivers are not your forte
for no river man of any repute
would ever loose a raft - ‘twould be naughty.
But it seems you’ve been breasting the bar
and mixing your drinks just a tad
a rum with a fresh Carlton chaser
will raddle your brains Marty lad.
Your continued use of repetition
works somewhat well overall,
but suspect an alcoholic rendition
to music perhaps more would enthral.