Page 1 of 1

Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Fri Sep 09, 2016 7:26 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Well, Maureen, the prompts certainly created a lot of puzzlement for me this time around - which is really great, because the challenge is what it's all about! However there is nothing like a looming deadline to prod the Muse ... so here is my effort. It is a little abstract and out of left field - and probably a bit odd (like me).

VODKA ON THE ROCKS

(c) Shelley Hansen 7/9/16

Man proposes - God disposes ...
best laid plans may come to nought.
Take the time to smell the roses -
time is passing. Life is short.

Set the sails and weigh the anchor -
life's a voyage, not a place.
Do not cherish hatred's canker -
we are still one human race.

Sea is mistress of the sailor -
what is master of the soul?
Prejudice - a ruthless jailer -
takes an unrelenting toll.

Secret bitterness abolished
banishes the fear-filled night.
Keep the porthole spit and polished -
see the vista, clear and bright.

Islands in the stream have crumbled -
seek safe harbour by the docks.
Turn the stones on which you stumbled
into vodka on the rocks!

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 10:46 am
by David Campbell
Not abstract at all, Shelley, it's a powerful message that's as clear as day..."life's a voyage, not a place". And I particularly like the use of "vodka on the rocks" in the last line!

Cheers
David

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 12:38 pm
by Maureen K Clifford
WOW - That's might impressive IMO - well done you. I agree with David, a clear message indeed and a positive one as well and the last line beats the hell out of turning lemons into lemonade :lol: although of course the concept is exactly the same :roll:

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Sat Sep 10, 2016 1:02 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Thank you so much David and Maureen - I really appreciate that positive feedback.

The poem is a slight departure from my usual style. I don't have many "short line" poems - I guess I'm more accustomed to filling out the statements into full-blown sentences. It was refreshing to try a different approach.

I've noticed with my poetry that I don't often use a strong syllable stress to start the line, as I have with this poem. Playing around with masculine and feminine endings with short lines was also an experiment - I normally tend to use the feminine endings more with internal rhyme which usually has longer lines.

Despite respecting traditional structure and rhyme, I'm always looking for innovations which push me out of my comfort zone!

Cheers
Shelley

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 6:48 pm
by Catherine Lee
Love this poem Shelley - it's punchy, positive and clever!

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Mon Sep 12, 2016 9:43 pm
by Shelley Hansen
Thank you so much Catherine - and lovely to have you back after your holiday! Hope you had a wonderful time :D

Cheers
Shelley

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:37 pm
by Catherine Lee
Thank you Shelley - yes, we did have a lovely time. Now I'm off again next week to Phuket, and then in October to New Zealand to see my parents again... Maybe after that I might actually start feeling settled enough to write some more poetry with any luck!

Re: Homework WE 12/9/16 - Vodka on the Rocks

Posted: Tue Sep 13, 2016 5:50 pm
by Shelley Hansen
You Globetrotter, you!! :D

Congratulations on your third place in the Bronze Spur - great result!

Cheers
Shelley