Homework W/E October 3: Auction Day

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David Campbell
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Homework W/E October 3: Auction Day

Post by David Campbell » Wed Sep 21, 2016 7:37 pm

Auction Day

© David Campbell 21/09/16

On auction day I stood alone
and pondered
the way so many years had flown,
and wandered
through memories, a barren field,
still finding
the imperfections well concealed,
unwinding
his hissy fits, his will to win,
unbending
through all the fights that he’d begin,
intending
to cause some harm, create a fuss,
his fury
a mystery to kids like us.
The jury,
returning on one special day
decided
to send him on his vicious way,
which guided
our mother to a safer place,
a haven
of subtle light, a peaceful space
where craven,
degrading acts that wrecked her life
were banished,
and so the broken, battered wife
soon vanished.

Our mother
returned to us, and now I stand,
another
survivor of this house and land.

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Shelley Hansen
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Re: Homework W/E October 3: Auction Day

Post by Shelley Hansen » Thu Sep 22, 2016 4:53 pm

Hi David

This is such an unusual structure - I really like it, especially in view of the subject matter. The truncated lines definitely give the feel of something cut off ... and the ending with the structure in reverse portrays the contrasting "healing" so well!

I am in awe, as always.

My homework poem (as yet half-written) was to have the same title as yours ... but an Auction Day from a different perspective. Watch this space! ;)

Cheers
Shelley
Shelley Hansen
Lady of Lines
http://www.shelleyhansen.com

"Look fer yer profits in the 'earts o' friends,
fer 'atin' never paid no dividends."
(CJ Dennis "The Mooch o' Life")

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Maureen K Clifford
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Re: Homework W/E October 3: Auction Day

Post by Maureen K Clifford » Fri Sep 23, 2016 11:01 am

I had to read that twice David - it is different - and that threw me off, but different is good and the layout of it catches the eye as well. Clever, and an excellent use of the prompts as well.
Check out The Scribbly Bark Poets blog site here -
http://scribblybarkpoetry.blogspot.com.au/


I may not always succeed in making a difference, but I will go to my grave knowing I at least tried.

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David Campbell
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Re: Homework W/E October 3: Auction Day

Post by David Campbell » Fri Sep 23, 2016 1:10 pm

Thanks, Shelley and Maureen. Yes, the structure is deliberately disjointed in an attempt to highlight the traumatic nature of the subject matter. Something smoothly flowing didn't seem appropriate. Possibly better suited to free verse.

Cheers
David

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