ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

The Mystery of the Missing “e”

© David Campbell, 29/12/16

It’s only in Australia that it happens,
this spatial problem that afflicts us all,
and so I’m acting as the first responder
and sending out a quite distressing call:

“What happens to the second “e” in Shelley?
Please tell me where that little blighter goes.
Its denigration means we’re left with Shelly,
but that is not the name her parents chose!

Perhaps it’s fly-by-night, that pesky letter,
and disappears just when we need it most…
or maybe it’s more like the “e” in ev’ry,
an evanescent, odd poetic ghost?”

David - you have my undying devotion!!! That is the most brilliant use of Maureen's prompts that I have ever seen!!

The first recorded instance of my missing "e" is in the engraving on my gold baby brooch gifted to me by my paternal grandmother. I don't think Mum ever forgave her mother-in-law for that!! Since then the practice has continued despite all of my imaginative attempts to arrest it!

As a matter of fact, back in 1984 I wrote a poem called "The Case of the Missing E" - which I distributed to everyone in my work team. From its content you can see it well and truly pre-dates the computer age! One of my colleagues never misspelled my name again. All the others laughed and continued to forget the second "e". I worked again with one of them from 2009 till my retirement, and I don't think there was one occasion when he remembered the "e" - despite my campaign of nagging that would have made Samson's Delilah proud!

With much less skill than your poem, here is my 1984 effort - unedited - so please forgive its rough edges ...

The Case of the Missing E
(c) Shelley Hansen 1984

My work I do with willingness – I always try to smile,
I try to help the customers who grumble all the while.
I’m always learning things so new – my job sure pleases me,
except for when my fellow staff forget my second “E”.

They send me little memos, worded in the nicest way,
small notes on bits of paper, saying what they want to say –
like – please find this … please look up that … please file and hold for me;
but at the top, near "Memo to …" – they drop my second “E”.

I really shouldn’t grumble and I really can’t complain,
I s’pose the pen is apt to slip with such a funny name.
I guess if it was Jane or Flo, or even Rose Marie,
I wouldn’t have the problem of a missing second “E”.

But as it is, it’s SHELLEY – like the poet’s name of old,
the beach along the seashore (sharp and prickly, so I’m told!)
I don’t mind hearing Shel for short – but my delight would be
to find a memo in my tray … complete with second “E” !!

Aaaaargh! Guilty My apologies Shelley .... not really sure how that happened because I am well aware of the 2nd 'E' in your name. Too much Christmas spirit perhaps

I agree that David has made the most innovative use of the prompts that we have seen for the whole of 2016 - I dips me lid to his wit and mastery of verse. Well done Dave --- Oh! There's that missing 'e' David.

Ha ha!! Very clever, Maureen! So Dav(e)id had my missing "e" all the time, did he?? Who would have thought it?

Cheers
Shelley

So that's where it was! Just goes to show that you should always check what you've written, eh Mauren?

Chers
David

too right

Yay David! Clever fellow

Thanks, Wendy...can't leave a second "e" wandering around in the nevr-nevr!

Cheers
David