I couldn't help it .... HAD to share ...

[manfredvijars]

Came across this and just had to share. Other people's comments are preceded by a "..."

Comments PLEASE ...

_________________________________________________
BEYOND EVE'S BAYOU....
Copyright © Shan-Tezy Ledgend 2012

Come follow me into this Euphoria of My Exotic Like State, Here Among the Shadows Where Lovers often come to Mate... I am not a Illusion and I'm Speaking from the Depths of Me, This is Eve's Bayou and It's Deeper than the Naked Eye Can Ever See... I know I was A Fool and Not Fully Aware of My very Own Deceit, The Poison that was often Spewed caused Catastrophic Retreats.. Ricocheting between Two Different Worlds that Was cast Upon My Spirit, I'm Not Denying Neither So I Had to Write this as a Panegyric... A Open Universe is often Hard to Comprehend, The Dialect somehow gotten Lost Between My World And that Of Mortal Men... But the Covenant that Was Created is how this Bayou took Form, Bringing into Reality My LIFE I WAS BORN.. But Not without Perception of the Mission to Be Completed, The Obstacles that Resurface Is only History that's Been Repeated.. So Here I Stand ALONE In the Choices of my Mortal Sins, Consuming Each Thought That Binds Me Like the Bayou Within.... Cause I also am Not Exempt from Destiny or It's Intentions, I guess I'm Rolling in the Deep Of Divine Intervention.. I Look At My Birthmark that Bares My Journey through this Existence, And I think About Past Lives And How it all has the Same Resemblance... I am A Descendant Directly from The Stars, And I SPEAK Oh So Poetically Through these Lyrical Bars... MADE MISTAKES But what I say Is True, This Is My Saga Coming Straight From EVE'S BAYOU...



... Wonderful poem!!

... Never been anywhere close to the subject of this write, but I feel I have after reading this, well done

... Very nice and entertaining.

... A superb poem that pours from your heart!

... excellent poem

... Sensational write.

---

[Neville Briggs]

I think you're right Manfred. It's not bush poetry.

[william williams]

Well to each his own.
And to me it is not what I would call or perceive as Australian Bush Poetry.
To my ears it is a futuristic story of fantasy that other learned people may like it.
But it is definitly not my cup of tea.

Bill the old Battler

[Glenny Palmer]

MANFREDD!! you being mischeivous again....???

[keats]

Different strokes, hey Maddie. Being bought up with Bob Dylan, Leonard Cohen and Jack Kerouac, I actually find it pretty clever. Even a pretty handy rhyming scheme. Bush Poetry? No. Entertaining? No. A Performance Piece? Sure, in a folk festival setting maybe.

But as I say, sends the reader into a diving vortex of self discovery and a believe in the existence of Eva on some 5th diminutional plain on a Bayou well beyond the ability of the human brains perception.

Yes, quite interesting after a bottle of aged Tawny Port.

Four and a half stars and an elephant.

Neil

[David Campbell]

I'm with Glenny...someone's pulling our leg! Here's my version:

Come follow me, my children, to the bliss that knows no wrong, here floating in the rapture of my cosmic billabong…I have overcome confusion in the fissures of my soul, much deeper than the hand of man has ever dug a hole…I know I was a drongo and a dag, not dinky-di, with a cake-hole spewing gibberish and never asking why I’m cast upon this spinning rock out in the Milky Way with only stars for company and nothing much to say about the mighty universe that started with a bang when time and space collided in a rather nasty prang…and yet when creepy, crawly things came oozing from the slime it meant that after quite a while we mortal folk could rhyme about all kinds of scary things the psyche can evolve in brains that grapple constantly with problems we can’t solve…and so we muse on destiny and what the hell it means, and whether life is nothing more than just a hill of beans…but as a panegyric that’s a thought that will not do for nothing will convince me that we haven’t got a clue…it’s madness that confronts me if we journey down that road, and so I seek some respite from that terrifying load and say that I’m quite happy as I sing this little song while paddling with the swagman in my cosmic billabong.


David

[manfredvijars]

... Is that "Cosmic" Bush Poetry David ??? ...

[Bob Pacey]

Hey you two guys been reading the same book ???/ Panegyric hope they say nice things about me when I'm goooooone.


Bob

[manfredvijars]

Sorry David, I couldn't help it (again) ... I just had to post that piece on the same boards ... and here are the responses from the people in the "know" ...

A distinct feeling of calm that drops from your words onto the reading and creates a nostalgic note. A delightful piece

Steeped in Australian imagery, but for me still reflective of the life of the poet

Nice piece of prose here and asks the questions most want to know, but we find our own way that works with us.

Dreams are still worth dreaming - - good write

... M

[Zondrae]

Can someone tell me

1. why so many of the words in the first post have capital letters?
2. why the piece is written in a paragraph rather than in the rhyming lines?
3. why the double negatives and general poor English?
4. why whole words are in capitals later in the piece