ABPA - Australian Bush Poets Association

What if there was a law passed making it illegal to talk in anything but rhyming couplets?
What if it became compulsory for men to wear beards?
What if a splinter group succeeded in bringing in a law allowing limericks as an acceptable alternative means of communication on Sundays?
What if the spokesperson for the splinter group got a splinter?
What if flavoured porridge was banned?
What if bottled water was full of wrigglers?
What if all rain tanks had to be painted pink and orange?
What if there was a ban on all heterosexual activity?
What if only gay couples could get married?
What if the Prime Minister had to be a dolphin?
What if there was a ban on childhood immunisation?
What if bush poets were found to be monkeys in disguise?
What if free verse poets were found to be bush poets in disguise?
What if all the camels in Australia formed themselves into one big circle and raised their left forehooves into the air and swore allegiance to...something?
What if all the kangaroos rolled onto their backs and asked to be tickled?
What if all the platypuses decided to migrate to Canada?
What if all the cassowaries went to the podiatrist to have their horns clipped off?
What if the podiatrists said they only do feet?
What if the brolgas stopped dancing?
What if the buffaloes started dancing?
What if cattle became carnivores?
What if crocodiles became vegetarian?
What if the tasmanian tiger was successfully cloned from remnant DNA, and proceeded to kill all Australia's sheep?
What if Flinders Island sank?
What if it snowed on Uluru?
What if Coopers Creek was re-named Carlton Creek?
What if Greg Chappell, Dennis Lillee and Rodney Marsh decided to make a comeback?
What if Ron Barrassi decided to make a comeback?
What if some future sporting champion who hasn't even been born yet decided to make a comeforward?
What if he (or she) chose the wrong sport by mistake, and ended up not being a sporting champion after all?
What if the Sydney Harbour Bridge turned around overnight?
What if the Sydney Opera House became the Sydney Opera Home?
What if the Sydney Opera Home became the Melbourne Opera Home?
What if the Story Bridge became the Yarn Bridge?
What if the Lamington National Park became the Pavlova National Park?

What if Carlton Creek became Tooheys Creek?
What if Tooheys Creek became Tooheys River?
What if Tooheys River became the Todd River?
What if the Darling River became the Clementine River?
What if the Clementine River became the Columbine River?
What if the Snowy River became a river of snow?
What if Marlo became Marhi?
What if Geehi became Geelo?
What if Geehi became Geelong?
What if Geelong became Geeshort?
What if Ballarat became Ballarunder?
What if Bendigo became Bendicome?
What if Newcastle became Newfort?
What if Darwin became Darlose?
What if Hobart became Holisa?
What if Devonport became German Sausage port?
What if Sarah Island became Fergie Island?
What if Macquarie Harbour became Heinemann Harbour?
What if Mount Wellington became Mount Sickington?
What if bulls had no eyes? Would we call the centre of a target the ram's eye?
Why the phrase 'if pigs could fly'? Are cattle and sheep more likely to fly than pigs? Why not 'if emus could fly'? Or 'austriches'?
What if we found fossilised pigs on Mars?
What if a can of worms became a can't of worms?
What if a can't of worms became a can't of tomatoes?
What if a pork barrel became a beef barrel?
What if a barrel chest became a barrel stomach?
What if champagne legs became champagne arms?
What if a kangaroo became Uluru?
What if a wallaby became a working bee?
What if an echidna became an ekidna?
What if an ekidna became an epigleta?
What if a wombat became a womball?
What if Geraldton became Geraldtonne?
What if Geraldtonne became Haroldtonne?
What if Bunbury became Bunexhume?
What if Bunexhume became Rollexhume?
What if the Ninety Mile Beach wasn't?
What if the Coorong became the Cooright?
What if the Murray River became the Kevin River?
What if the Kevin River became the Bartlett River?
What if the Snowy River became the Baker River?
What if the Baker River became the Butcher River?
What if the Butcher River became the Candlestick Maker River?
What if the Dartmouth Dam became the Dartnose Dam?
What if the Kimberley became the Kathberley?

What if politicians spoke the truth ?? ( that's the most outlandish one I could think of )

I guess we'll have to wait for the poem to find out hey Stephen?

What if the Simpson Desert became the Homer Desert?

I like men with beards

What if you didn't, Mausy???

Then she'd like men with hairy chests!

I prefer women with hairy chests.

Why?