The Shrink

[r.magnay]

It's been awhile since I went to the city, it was about half past four in the arvo when I chanced across this watering hole, not the sort of pub I was used to but they sold cold beer so it would do. I was standing at the bar on my second schooner when these two suits walked in and propped on the stools next to me. From what I could gather by their converstaions they were a couple of shrinks. After a couple of scotches the smaller bloke says to his mate, "You know, I think I might be losing the plot, maybe it's from working with all these loonies and it's starting to rub off on me." His mate said, "I can't say I have noticed anything amiss with you, would you like me to give you a quick assessment to see how you come up, free of charge of course." "I don't suppose it can do any harm." was the reply. "OK You know the procedure, I ask you a question and you answer the first thing that comes into your mind."......"What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down, and a dog do on three legs?" "Shake hands!" came the reply. "What does your dog do in the back yard, you walk out in the dark and step in it and want to kill the dog?" "Digs holes!" his mate answered. "OK, one more, where do women have the curliest hair?" "Fiji!" He replied. "Not too much wrong with you my friend, you should hear some of the answers I get to those questions!"



Where's Tom, that is a proper IQ test!....

[Bob Pacey]

Must be something wrong with me Ross i got them all wrong as well !!!!




Bob

[r.magnay]

...I been tryin' to tell you you're a nutter Bob!........

[Jasper Brush]

Ha,ha, Ross.


Good story.

A mate, worked for the Water Board, and regularly went off on compo.
They sent him to a shrink.

Water Board Word association test.

Tap, mate: tap on the jaw.
Pipe. Mate: tobacco.
Water. Mate: on the brain.
Dam. Mate: swear word
sink. Mate: drown.
bath. Mate: gin
manhole. Mate: backside.

The shrinks recommendation. Please send this employee on a two month retraining course.

The mate never went. He spent two months on full pay down the pub betting and drinking.

John

[Jasper Brush]

Marty,


Mate, you have a smart kid.

John