I never thought this could happen to me

[noelcauser]

and I'm not a drinking man!

I Never Thought this would Happen To Me

I'm not a drinking man me self,
so this story just don't gel.
My self esteems been tarnished,
and I'm sure I'll go to hell.
I'm not a drinking type of guy,
who can down a keg at will.
Then turn around tomorrow,
and finish off the still.

Well it happened when I accepted,
this invite to this do.
Me mate was turning fifty,
and thought he'd shout a round or two.
Come on down you Wowzer, He said,
and let it all hang out.
You only get to my age once,
having fun is what its all about.

The wife was all excited,
her blessing freely given.
You had better take a cab my dear,
the family car should not be driven.
I'm sure your mates will bring you home,
if not catch a cab or train.
Off you go and have some fun,
and don't be a blessed pain.

The beer was freely flowing,
and the shouts were thick and fast.
I had four long necks down me throat,
before an hour had past.
Me head was spinning like a top,
and me brain was in a mess.
My fortress had been breached for sure,
and I had no armour too redress.

Spinning spinning spinning,
my mind began to pale.
I was sure that just like Jonah,
I had been swallowed by a whale.
Inside this wretched creature,
my life would surely end.
My body tossed from side to side,
as he swam round every bend.

The screaming noise of other souls,
he swallowed up this night.
My life then flashed before my eyes,
for I knew I'd lost the fight.
Then a miracle sorta happened,
which expounded all my fear.
For the voice that was so familiar, said.!
Doors closing, Please stand clear.!

It seems my so called buddies,
had sent me home by train.
Not keen to front the misses,
my condition to explain.
A mobile message sent to say,
He's on the three O five.
I think you should collect him,
and we hope he's still alive.
Ncauser © 2009

[Neville Briggs]

I know what you mean Noel. I went home on the train once after an uncharacteristic bout of intemperance. Ohhh never again.

What never again you ask, intemperance or the train ? Both