A Glum Life

[Maureen K Clifford]

A Glum Life


I’ve got water, lots of water but none of it is hot
for it seems the old gas system has gone and lost the plot,
but the gas stove isn’t working so perhaps that’s not the case
seems to me might be a blockage but of one I find no trace.
So ring up the gas people those who always send the bill
and tell them of the problem ‘Will you send someone? ‘ ‘ We will.’
‘Might I ask when you will send them?’ ‘As to that we cannot say
for that bloke is a contractor don’t know when he’ll be your way.’

Well it’s been three days I’m waiting and the gas still ain’t come through
and the waters cold as charity, my skin is turning blue.
I can shower with a bucket and my clothes cold water wash
but boiled eggs in the microwave are messy and by gosh
a pizza turns out soggy and roast chicken will not roast;
it seems I might just spend the week eating baked beans on toast;
and I need to find a handyman to clean my gutter out
for with all the rain we’re having it is like a water spout.

It isn’t fair, I whinge and moan, the two dogs sit and listen.
I’m pretty good at maintenance and don’t think much I’m missin’
but when disaster hits it always seems to come in threes
or that is what I’ve noticed. Do you other blokes agree?
So now I have to sit and wait for fear if I go out
the bloke from the Gas company might turn up and no doubt
with no one here to supervise, the dogs won’t let him in -
or if he’s in, won’t let him out. Unhappy time for him.

So as day four arrives untouched – a brisk start to the day.
I thank God it’s not winter, standing ‘neath a tepid spray
my shower time now limited to Navy regulations -
with three minutes the maximum, a sudden adaptation.
And so in boredom I do write for today there’s no cooking
I thought with you I’d share my plight and thank you all for looking.
It could be worse I know. Across our country folks are hurting.
My problem - should I stick with gas or think now of converting?

Maureen Clifford © 02/13

[Stephen Whiteside]

How about rolling out the barbecue, Maureen?

[Maureen K Clifford]

Haven't got one

[David Campbell]

All Gas Lost. Already Going Loopy. Any Good Laughing, Maureen?

David

[Maureen K Clifford]

All Good Loveys How many men does it take to dig a hole? 3 nice blokes turned up. Dug a few holes trying to locate the main which seems to have moved from where it is on their plans Big sucker machine attached and sucked/blew about 15 litres of water out of the lines and hey presto the gas works again - good they tell me until we get more heavy rain.

[Neville Briggs]

What are you going to do with your poem now ?

[Maureen K Clifford]

Feel free to hang it on a nail in the outhouse Neville