THE VICAR'S ROSES

[Cropduster]

THE VICAR'S ROSES

'That's a cracker of a bag of fruit.
How much that set you back?'
'I got it for a twenty,
found it hanging on a rack
down at the local Sally's,
and I thought, that's just the ticket
for next Sat'dy afternoon
Once I'm done with playing cricket.'
'What you got lined for Sat'dy
If you don't mind that I ask?'
'Gettin' married to me Mabel,
She went and collared me at last.
Laid me down an ultimatum,
'Better marry me', she said
'Or find some other strumpet
who will gladly warm your bed.'
"Aren't you rushing things a bit, old mate?
You haven't known her long'
'That's exactly what I told her,
but she says 'Don't get me wrong,
I know we've only dated now
for twenty flamin' years,
but I want to wed by thirty
or its gonna end in tears.'
'So I picked me up this suit and tie
and polished up me boots.
Went and picked a bunch of roses,
yanked em clean out by the roots
from out the front of vicar's church.
I kinda' figured he won't mind,
when Mabel walks them down the aisle
with bridal train behind.'
'Crikey, mate, he loves them roses,
reckon he might flip his lid
when he finds that they've gone missing,
when he found out what you did'.
'She is his daughter, after all,
so I'll give you the tip -
If he hit's the roof, I reckon
I'm just bound to let her rip.
'I'm taken Mabel off your hands',
I'll say, 'A bloke might rightly think
that a bunch of flamin' roses
wouldn't causes a flamin' stink.
But if your going to crack it, vicar
I'll tell you right here, Jack,
you can keep your bloody roses
and you can have your daughter back'
Got a feeling that might set him back
And put him in his place
If I gave his dear sweet Mabel, back
Jeez! I'd love to see his face
No, I reckon that he'll marry us
there and then, and here's the thing
He won't even mind a bit
I didn't fork out for a ring'

Copyright (c) Allan Cropper April 2015

[alongtimegone]

You really are a romantic Allan.

[Cropduster]

Just can't help myself, Wazza. A born romantic

[Maureen K Clifford]

Any girl would find it hard to pass up that spiel Be still my heart. What colour were the roses?

[Cropduster]

Not sure of the meanings of the different colours, Maureen.

Being such a romantic fellow, I would think red.

[Stephen Whiteside]

Sounds painful - pulling out a rose bush by its roots.