Wilson's Pub

[Wendy Seddon]

Tried a 'bush' Villanelle.

Wilson's Pub

Friday night at Wilson’s Pub
Betty cooked the food
and Frank enjoyed the grub.

Once a week Frank hit the tub,
left his squalling brood-
Friday night at Wilson’s Pub

What’s the news and what’s the rub?
Answers there ensued,
and Frank enjoyed the grub.

Durries burnt down to a stub,
chatter rough and rude.
Friday night at Wilson’s Pub

Betty started up a blub
at Bob and Davey’s feud
and Frank enjoyed the grub.

Take a leak out in the scrub
make sure that you’re not viewed…
and Frank enjoyed the grub
Friday night at Wilson’s Pub

[Shelley Hansen]

Wow! Good on you Wendy - definitely "bushy" in every aspect!

I might be quite wrong here, but keeping in line with the Villanelle rhyme scheme, should your last two lines be reversed?

Friday night at Wilson's pub
and Frank enjoyed the grub

That keeps them in the same order as they appear in the first verse. Feel free to correct me if I'm in error.

Cheers
Shelley

[Neville Briggs]

Good go Wendy. Bushy and Villanelley

I think the last two lines would go better as Shelley said. What do you reckon ?

Just passing thoughts on villanelles.
My understanding from reading, is that the repeated lines do not have to be exactly the same every time. Some variation, that still keeps the same basic words, is part of the fun.

My own unauthorized opinion is that iambic pentameter ( five stresses ) gives the better scope for variations on the wording.

Usually ( but not set in stone) villanelles keep the same metre for every line.

[Wendy Seddon]

Thanks Shelley, thanks Nev.

Yes, I think the two lines at the end should be reversed - good call.
There were such variations on the format and examples I found online that I was unsure if there
really was a rule regarding how the repeat lines should be presented, also the rhythms seemed
to vary so much, so I just tried to keep it uniform.

I do like the challenge though. Keeps the 'little grey cells' working!

[Neville Briggs]

Good on ya Wendy

You can find on-line, Elizabeth Bishop's very famous villanelle One Art. A masterpiece ( or whatever you call a woman's work, mspiece sounds silly ) It's my all time favourite villanelle.

[Catherine Lee]

Most enjoyable Wendy!

[alongtimegone]

Well done Wendy. I think I would have liked Frank.
Wazza