Healing the Forum

[Stephen Whiteside]

Healing the Forum

I found a forum lying by the road-side, looking ill.
I tested it for signs of life - it looked so cold and still.
I nudged it gently with my foot. It gave the softest groan.
I thought, "I'd better find a vet!" and started on my phone.

None were very helpful. "If you had a dog or cat,
We would fix them in a jiffy. But a forum...what is that?
It isn't in the textbook, and I don't know what it eats.
If I were you, I'd try to fill it up with tasty treats."

I thought and thought a little while, and then I thought some more.
You can't buy treats for forums from your little local store.
Supermarkets aren't much help, and nor are restaurants.
I wasn't even certain what a forum really wants.

But then I thought, "I've got it! It's a bush poetic forum.
It swallows heaps of poems, and it likes to save and store 'em.
So maybe if I write a bunch, and feed it on the hour,
I'll gradually restore it to its former health and power."

Of course, I quickly realised I could never write that much
Without producing gibberish, or worthless double dutch,
But maybe if I wrote a bit, and others wrote some more,
That dreadful little groan would be transformed into a roar.

I don't know if it's working. It is early days, of course,
And it's not like feeding lucerne to an ailing cow or horse,
But maybe if I write some stuff, and others write some too,
The forum will be warm and pink, instead of cold and blue!

Stephen Whiteside 29.07.2016

[David Campbell]

Me Mum, she reckoned ’Orlicks
would get me orf the ’ook,
but will it work fer forums
when they are feelin’ crook?

Wiv vitamins an’ barley
it might just do the trick,
it’s full uv ’olesome goodness
fer them wot’s feelin’ sick!

[Shelley Hansen]

And my Mum, she said "Chemist Roush"
was bound to do the trick.
He had some efficacious stuff
to give "the blues" the flick!

She'd heard him on the ABC -
advising that you drink
his great "Relaxing Tonic" in
a bottle - it was pink!

I don't know what was in it, but
it surely was the rage.
And if I had some, maybe I
could splash it on this page!!