Footprints

[Heather]

It's not because I'm a woman? Oh dear, now I am confused!

[Stephen Whiteside]

Join the club!

[Heather]

There's a club? Oh goody!

[Neville Briggs]

I was a bit disappointed that you chose to take the name of the beach out. I think that anchors it in time and space. The poem might be dreamy but it is built on a reality. And I think that the name holds on to that reality.

It may be, as Stephen suggested, a bit of a jolt, but why shouldn't the reverie be jolted by that reality. Poetry is complex, isn't it, not simplistic.

And for Bob and Marty, why does it need another stanza ? What more needs to be said ?
only the writer can answer that.


Just my thoughts. Annoying aren't I.

[Heather]

I'd have said thought provoking rather than annoying Neville.

Neville's right - I think. I was trying to say that my grandmother, as a child, spent time on the beach walking with her father and that time and her childhood was precious. I could have waffled on about other things about the beach or activities on the beach and I can see that there is scope to do that. I had another stanza in there to indicate that she had grown up but I think the last stanza pretty much says that - nothing stands still, things change, we grow up, life moves on. Stephen got it on one "puff the magic dragon".

As for the Leven reference, Neville, I guess I could use it or not, depending on who I am directing the poem to. By not putting in "Leven", it leaves it more for others to make something of it for themselves - and then they also don't have to get on the computer and wonder where the hell "Leven Beach" is! ('Cause they're never gonna find it!)

Heather

[Rimeriter]

Having read only your original,I experienced - sadness.

Only change it if you must.
Jim.

[Heather]

Thanks Jim.

[Dennis N O'Brien]

Nicely written Heather.

[Terry Cutting]

Thank you.
You took me to a beach from my childhood. Many hours standing beside my father with a cork and line in my hand.

Well done.

[Zondrae]

morning Heather,

I am lagging behind a little. (I'll stop apologising and get on with it)

I'm sure you've seen the religious poem about 'Footprints'. (have you?) When I began to read yours the other one came to mind. Yours is so real that, in just a few seconds the image changed to fit your poem. I think that this means you have 'got it'. But like other readers I was expecting more. Maybe I'm lazy and wanted you to finish the story rather than doing the work of imagining it myself.

Now here I say..... don't let other people (including me specially) tell you how to write your poems. It is our differences that make us individual. We will, naturally, offer our thoughts but they are ours and your poems are yours. This sounds very much like the thing I say to people who recite other peoples verse. Do respect copyright and do just that 'copy right'. Don't change a word or two; it is not theirs to change. I think it was Frank Daniel I heard say this, and it is wise advice (and another reason I rarely do other peoples poems).